Fight for Her Heart(Haikyuu x Reader)

Broken*

WARNING MENTIONS OF PREVIOUS SELF HARM

(y/n)'s pov

After the game was over I went to the kitchen to grab a (favorite drink) when Oikawa grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me into the hallway. "Did you need something," I asked with my hands behind my back, "or were you going to thank for me the kiss," I teased. 

He laughed a little then asked nervously, "Are...are you... harming yourself...?" Oh shi-. 

I pulled back my sleeves, "They're old," I nervously laughed, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine." I looked up at Oikawa to see him pulling off a weak and unsure smile. "Seriously I'm okay."

TIME TO GET MY (favorite drink)! I skipped back to the kitchen only to be blocked by Ushijima. "I knew I saw something when we went running," the tall boy said. I tilted my head a bit confused but I had a guess on what was going to come out of his mouth. "Your wrists," he said as he looked down at my arms which were at my sides. He then looked at my face, "I hope those are old (y/n)." I nodded and I wasn't lying. I hadn't done it for about a month...... 

"Thanks for checking on me like that but I'm doing okay," I said as I looked up at him and smiled. After I was done chatting with him I made it to the kitchen, only to be disappointed by the fact that there were no more (favorite drink). Aww man. I looked around the room to see if I could spot who snagged the last one. I hopped over the couch landing next to Akaashi who hadn't opened his drink yet. "What would it take for me to have your drink?" I asked him, making puppy eyes to see if I could get away without doing anything. He looked at me and didn't say anything, "Akaa-" he grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside. "Drink?" 

"You're going to answer some questions I have for you if you want the drink." Questions? 

"Shoot."

"What's on your wrists?" He said looking serious.

I cast my gaze down at the ground, "Just some old cuts."

"Are you okay?" He asked putting his hands on my shoulders. I nodded even though I could feel everything just wanting to pour out. He wrapped his arms around me and I reciprocated. We just stood there like that for awhile until Konoha starting calling for Akaashi to come. "Here's your drink as promised," Akaashi said as he handed over the (favorite drink). I thanked him for both of his actions. 

'Being honest I was just pretty tired of everything. Although this camp had given me a little bit more energy from meeting new people and all. It just wasn't really enough or what I needed. About 8 months ago was when things started going downhill. I was cast out by my friends and dumped by my boyfriend who had cheated on me. Since my parents are rich they pulled me out of school and decided to homeschool me. It did make things better but I continued to deteriorate from the isolation. I had no friends other than my cousins who I barely saw. It was nice to be around the volleyball boys and their managers. These were basically all people who had at least one interest that was the same as mine which would be sports. 

I just want someone who gets me and who is there for me. Is that too much to ask for? Maybe I do want something more but I can settle for just that.'

WARNING ATTEMPTED SELF HARM

I went upstairs looking down at the party going on below. I sat on my bed and grabbed the pouch and opened it. Inside there it was, the blade.

'Even though being with these people is nice. I can't help but feel jealous about what they have with each other.'

I picked it up and stared at it. I walked over to the bathroom, blade in hand. I stared at myself in the mirror for a few moments. I put the blade down momentarily, gazing at the water that slowly dripped from the faucet before fiddling till it stopped dripping. I watched the water slowly go down the drain before looking up at my reflection in the mirror.

'Who is she? She looks so strong, so beautiful, but that's not me. I'm weak, ugly... I'm nothing. That girl in the the mirror. She's someone else, she's someone people like, but the real me is the one standing on the other side of the mirror. The one who gazes at the ideal girl, tormented by the sight of something she could be but isn't.'

I picked it back up then I fiddled with the blade being careful not to cut myself but careless about where the sharp end was. 

'...what's the point in anything anyways...'

"(y/n)" I thought I heard someone say but I was so entranced by my thoughts. 

'Who needs me? My existence is a waste. Someone else could be enjoying this life right now. Maybe if someone else were me they wouldn't have gone through the things I did. Maybe they could find happiness. '

I held the blade close to my arm, but didn't have much intent. Still it was snatched out of my grip. 

'!?!'

I heard it hit the ground as I turned to see a shocked Tsukishima. 'Woah his rbf isn't permanent.'  "What were you doing?" He questioned, grabbing my shoulders firmly. 'What does it look like I'm doing? Isn't it obvious. I'm sure you noticed just like the others. Why do you care though? We just met not that long ago'  Once again I could feel my eyes burning, I wanted to cry so bad, I wanted to let it all out, but I was in so much control nothing would come out. I just stood there looking at him, looking away, tapping my finger on my arm with my arms crossed, and biting the inside of my lip. 

'Why...

Why...

for what reason would you care enough to stop me?'

"I'm sorry that you had to see that," I looked down at the ground, unable to face the blonde-haired boy. Tsukishima relaxed his grip on me and let out a sigh. 

The boy crouched down so he was just below my level, looking up at me now, and asked, "(y/n) what were you thinking?" there was a hint of worry in his voice.  "Don't do that ever again," he practically begged, "please..."

"I'm sorry," I repeated, still staring at the ground.

Suddenly Tsukishima pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me "Just let it out..." he said resting his head on top of mine. "You really had me worried (f/n)..." Eventually I began to cry into his shirt, and I cried for awhile until I was just too tired.

Tsukishima's pov

She seems pretty calm now and  a little heavier... Could she have fallen asleep? 

I looked down at the (h/c) haired girl to see that she had in fact fallen asleep. 

'Geez all that crying really tired her out.'  I lifted her up and went downstairs and I made my way out. I carried her on my back so that things wouldn't be awkward. 

~Mini skip~

I laid the girl down on her bed and put the (f/c) blanket over her fragile body. 

'I feel bad for her. She puts up this strong front but she's really broken.'

I moved a couple strands of hair off her face, "Goodnight (y/n)," I said softly before turning to head towards the door.