Finding Islam

70. Third - Arrogance

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- KING'S POV -

"Open up, mum." I coaxed softly, but she pursed her lips together and refused to open her mouth for me. I groaned and dropped the spoon into the tub of jello, placing it on her food tray. "What's wrong, mum?"

She rolled her eyes and then crossed her frail arms over her chest. It had now been a further two weeks since we had found out my mum's deteriorating condition so alhamdulillah, all up she had made it through the one month mark.

She had proved me wrong, and despite her body getting visibly weaker, she was still pulling through.

Much like Walter, she had now lost her ability to eat whole foods so she was eating thickened/mashed meals and fruit yoghurts or jello for dessert.

"A'ishah." She simply huffed and I breathed out a breath, shaking my head. "Mum, A'ishah can't come to visit you every day. She doesn't even see her own mum daily."

I couldn't expect A'ishah to come visit my mother every day with me when, like I said, she only saw her own mum once a week. We had quickly fell into a routine. I would visit my mum everyday after work and on weekends A'ishah and I would go together. A'ishah had gone mid week too a few times, on the days she didn't have halaqah, alhamdulillah.

"On the weekend, mum, I'll bring A'ishah then. Today you have to eat though."

"No. Call." She spoke.

I sighed, leaning back in my seat and rubbing my hands over my face. This was a conversation that we had every day. "Mum, she's busy right now, I can't call her."

Many men in Islam had some warped idea that their wives were in some way obligated to put in an equal amount of effort to his parents as she did to her own - that wasn't true. The Muslim man was required to protect his wife from his parents overbearing nature and was required to protect his parents from his wife's ill treatment of them. Alhamdulillah, A'ishah never treated my mum or my dad in anything less than a perfect, respectful manner. All praise is also to Allah that my dad never wanted things from A'ishah, even though it was because he wasn't her biggest fan.

My mother, on the other hand, expected A'ishah to be with her every single day, and although it was from a place of love, A'ishah had no obligation whatsoever of having to make the trip to the hospital.

Even if my mother wasn't in hospital or wasn't sick at all. If she was a completely normal person and happened to love A'ishah and call her over every day, it was my duty to put her in her place and protect my wife.

Muslim men nowadays had to understand this. Muslim women also had to protect their husbands from their own overbearing parents, but in our community it was generally the man's parents who were of this nature and it was the daughter in law who suffered.

It goes without saying that both the husband and the wife had an obligation to treat each other's parents with the utmost respect and care, but they had no obligation of serving them, cooking for them etc, etc.

According to Islam, a woman is not required to serve her husband's parents at all. It is the son himself who is required to look after his own parents and try as hard as possible to ensure their comfort according to his means.

This means that if a woman decides to serve her husband's parents, out of respect to them or out of love for her husband, she does so voluntarily. Her attitude should be met with gratitude by her husband and his parents and her kindness should be reciprocated. But she violates no Islamic law or principle if she decides not to serve them. Her husband may not force or pressure her into serving them, whether they share the same house or live separately.