Defying Desires

Chapter 26- Rage

Listen to I look to you by Whitney Houston

Mia

To hear an unexpected bad news, 

Most times, I would see them coming. I'd have this gnawing feeling that wouldn't leave when something bad was bound to happen. This time, I didn't even suspect it. It was as if I'd been made numb to that feeling.

The news was like having a paralysis in a sleep. One, I couldn't do anything about no matter how much I tried.

I didn't have time to reminisce to my past. I didn't have that energy to focus and trace how every single one of my family had to suffer some ordeal at one point in their life. As Papa and I rode to the hospital, dizziness, nausea and hyperventilation washed over me like waves. I knew my nightmares were not over but I didn't also expect a storm like this.

Please let him be alright. Those were my mantra the entire ride to the hospital. I hadn't even focused on Papa to see how he was feeling but I knew he was in great distress just as I was.

As soon as the cab pulled in front of the hospital, I ran in high speed to the insides of the hospital. I was deranged. I was still in my pajamas. Simply put, I was anything but presentable and I didn't care about that. I rummaged the entire hospital looking for Amber. I figured she was the only one to feed me on what was really going on. My head was hurting. My heartbeat raced with every taken step.  Overthinking bristled in me. I felt my fears crash into me like a cannonball.

"Amber." I called to her. She was in a hurry but I managed to have crashed into her just in time. I gave a her a vacant stare, trying so hard not to let her see the tears that were building up in my eyes.

"Mia." She hugged me, her lips quivering at a frantic beat. Her actions made my heart sink, as I was beginning to fear the worst. I pushed her off and held her at arm's length.

"Where's Jay. How's he?"

She took a deep breath and partially opened her lips. "There's not much I can say. He's undergoing surgery at the moment."

"Will he fine Amber?" I ran my hands through my disheveled hair. Frustration and stress enveloped my entire being. I began to shiver incredulously.

"It's only the doctor who can say. Let's pray for the best. I have to go. I'm needed at another ward." She cupped my cheeks and sped off.

I paced up and down the hallway like a crazy person. To the point of three nurses speaking to me to get seated, but I wouldn't. No matter how I tried to calm down, my nerves wouldn't. It was like I was on fire and the only way to cool me down was the news that Jay was going to be fine.

At that moment, I had even forgotten I'd  left Papa alone in the cab. I had to hear something good before I went to him. No news would break his heart more, especially since we were in the hospital.

"Mia." A voice broke through my thoughts. As I threw my head up thinking it was Amber, a soft light crept in me at the sight of Jane.

"Jane." She pulled me into a hug and I held tightly on her.

"I'm so sorry, Mia. Have you heard anything?"

I shook my head as I took my seat.
"I feel like I'm about to lose my mind Jane. He's in surgery right now. Amber couldn't tell me anything positive."

"What about the man responsible for this?"

"I haven't seen him. I swear to God if Jay doesn't make it through, I'll make sure who ever is responsible for this would rot in hell."
Jane's hand crawled up my back and placed gentle strokes there.