My Rockstar// Jaden Hossler

part 34

I woke up this morning to the sound of my phone repeatedly ringing. I answered with a grumpy morning voice.
"Hello?"
"Morning sunshine!! Be ready in an hour I'm coming to get you!"
"Jaden it's 9am I'm going back to sleep."
"No time to waste! Plenty of time to sleep tonight! Get up and get ready! I'm hanging up now and I'll be there in an hour. Love you"

I laid my phone down on my nightstand and rolled over, annoyed that I just got woken up.

Just as I was finishing tying my shoes I heard the doorbell ring. Avani must've answered it because I heard her chewing Jaden out already. In case you didn't already know, she isn't exactly his biggest fan right now. And I can't really blame her. I think I'm still processing the last twenty-four hours. I wanted nothing more than for him to come back to me everyday for the past two years, and now that he did it, I'm annoyed? What the actual hell is wrong with me?
I walked into the living room to find Jaden on the couch and Avani on the other side eyeing him down.
"Morning, baby. Ready to go?" Jaden smiled. "You look great. "
"Thanks. I'm ready"
"Don't have too much fun. I mean it. " Vani gave Jaden a death stare.
"Promise. Love you Vani" I said, trying to calm her down a little.
"Love you too. Now goodbye. " A small smile formed on her lips, pushing us out of the front door.

Jaden took me to the small little diner between my place and his. The same diner that I ran into him not even a week ago. Odd choice of a restaurant considering, but whatever. We ordered our food and coffee and were sitting in silence. It was getting kind of awkward. I mean what do you say when your ex-boyfriend randomly shows up at your apartment two years after breaking your heart begging you not to get married to someone else?

"So..." Jaden dragged out, awkwardly fidgeting with his coffee mug.
"This is so awkward." I laughed, trying to make light of the situation.
"I guess in my head we started off where we left but that's not exactly how it goes. " He sighed.
"Let's start over. What have you been up to these last couple years?" I smiled.
"Just music. And making content. Same old same old. Lots of therapy too. " He cringed. "It's really helped though. I've made a lot of progress and worked through some of my deep-rooted trust issues. I still live with all the guys, though. Nessa moved in and a couple more people have moved in too."
"Like Mads?"
"No. Not Mads. That's over, by the way. It ended before it really started."
"Okay..."
"So, what about you?"
"Mostly the same. Film, take pictures for instagram, music, and I keep my niece a couple times a week so Collin and Sarah can go out and have a break. " I smiled.
"I'm really glad you continued doing music, I can't believe you never told me what an incredible voice you had. " Jaden smiled, placing his hand over mine.
I awkwardly laughed. "Thank you. Wait, so you've seen my youtube channel?"
"Yeah... uh. " He nervously scratched the back of his head. "I might've watched a video or two. "
"So you've been keeping tabs on me but I couldn't with you because you blocked me?"
"Don't say it like that, Y/N. It wasn't like that. "
"Then what was it like?" I was beyond annoyed at this point and pulled my hand from beneath his.
He didn't say anything for a moment. Its almost like he was trying to find the right words because he was already walking on eggshells.
"I didn't want you to see me doing bad. I was a mess. " He was looking down at the table. "Hell, I still am. I'm a fucking mess without you and the last two years have been hell."
"Then why do it, Jaden?"
"I don't know. I don't even have a reasonable explanation. I convinced myself I didn't deserve you and I let it get to me. After I yelled at you that night, I couldn't ever imagine put you in a situation to where I could talk to you like that. I think I scared myself. "
"I just don't understand I guess. " I placed my hands on the sides of my temples out of frustration. "We had gotten in arguments before and had always gotten through it. It was like you just gave up. "
"I did. But I didn't give up on you, I gave up on myself. That's why I started therapy. I told you I'd get better for you and I did. So please don't give up on me now."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Jae. It's just going to take some time. I mean, I still have to get over Nick in the process of trying to mend things with you on top of trying to get over this resentment I have for you. "
"Hey, I understand. I'm not going anywhere ever again and we have the rest of our lives to figure this out. "
His hand found its way back on top of mine, and all the tension left my body at the sight of his touch. He made me feel safe.
"I love you, Y/N. Always and forever. "