My Rockstar// Jaden Hossler

part 22

"I think Mads drugged me. Like I'm not 100% sure but I don't remember anything from last night after asking Mads why she was here and taking a beer from her hand before you walked in my room and saw that. And it's not because I drank too much, I had three beers Y/N. I would never willingly cheat on you. I know what it looked like and it looked bad. I don't even think anything happened between me and you, because when I made Mads leave she said "And I was just getting to the good part" whatever that means. I almost went to your house earlier but Collin made it clear that if I did I'd regret it so I just gave you some space. I love you, angel and I wish last night would have never happened. Please don't break up with me Y/N, I can't live without you. " I watched as the tears rolled down his face and his body slowly shaking, unable to sit still. He looked terrible, and as mad as I am I can't look him in the face and be angry with him. I love him. But it isn't that easy. Mads was obviously not going to give up until we were broken up for good.
"Please say something."
"Sorry. I just don't know what to say. When I left here last night I turned my phone off. I had a full plan in my head about how I was going to leave everything behind once again and about how I couldn't face Collin, Sarah, Anthony or especially you. But I knew something was holding me back from leaving, and it was you Jae. I couldn't bare leaving you behind without at least saying good bye, not like that. I ended up walking home and made it home about six this morning. I had all that time to think, and I think during that walk I forgave you then, even if I didn't want to admit it. That's when I realized how much I really love you. If you say you were drugged, then I believe you. "
Jaden's face lit up instantly and quickly wrapped his arms around my body suffocating me in a hug. He pulled his face back and went in to kiss me but I backed away from the hug entirely.
"But I don't know if how is going to work. I love you and I would do anything to be with you, but Mads obviously isn't going to give up Jaden. I don't want to keep fighting with her over you up until someone really gets hurt, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened."
"Please don't break up with me. Please don't. If you'd do anything then-"
"I know. I feel like so much has happened in the last 48 hours that I haven't had time to process anything. I'm not saying I'm breaking up with you, I just need to process this and figure out what I'm thinking. I love you, I really do, but it still doesn't take back the hurt I'm feeling right now. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest when I saw her on top of you like that. I realized I was depending on you for my happiness and that's not fair to you or me. I think I need to figure out how to be happy on my own first. "
"So... like you want to take a break?"
"Actually, no. Maybe we just need to give ourselves some space. I mean, last night was the first night we had spent apart since we started dating. Maybe a couple days here and there apart wouldn't be so bad. I'm starting to think I need therapy. " I giggled.
"You scared me. " He laughed along too. "Yeah, I think it could be good. Whatever you need, as long as it's not breaking up with me, you got it. I'll do anything for you. I love you beautiful."
"I love you too Jae." I smiled, kissing his cheek.
"Could us giving each other space start tomorrow maybe? I really need you in my arms right now." Jaden questioned.
"Of course. Get in bed. I need all the cuddles baby!" I yelped, jumping under the covers wrapping my arms around Jaden's torso and resting my head on his chest.
"Goodnight, angel. "
"Goodnight my love."