~Alice's P.O.V.~
My eyes widen in shock onece my mind fully processed those words. I back away as much as I could. I looked up at him and he was smiling, as if he found it humourous. I looked into his eyes and they were still filled with darkness. He wasn't drunk., I knew that. Which meant he actually knew what he was saying. I tried not to cry once I realised what Jake was planning to do. I never thought he would ever force that on to me. It scared me. Terribly. This wasn't Jake. This is isn't him...
"W-Who are you?", I stutter, focusing on the ground. It hurt to look at him like this. I try to wipe the tears rolling down my cheeks away , but I just felt the blood on my hands smear across my face instead.
I didn't notice Jake walking up to me, but he lifted my chin. Forcing me to look up to him. Forcing me to look into the eyes that were once brown and joyfull.
"Am I scaring you?", he said in a stern voice. With the grin no longer on his face, instead there was a serious face. How can he change moods so quickly? I understood he was bipolar, but it was astonishing the things he could say, not knowing he could hurt and terrify someone mortally.
I didn't answer his question, instead just let the dreaded silence answer for me.
He lets go of my chin and turns away from me. I see him brush his hand through his hair. I didn't know if all of this was just a lie. A joke. I began to doubt all of the promises he made. I always did. We haven't fought like this in quite a while. And he's never hurt me ever since I came back from the hospital which was a long time. I don't know when Jake and I began dating, but I knew when I met him. It was mid season in soccer. And I knew the first time he kissed me...I remember everything. I remember when he taught me how to dance. When I stopped fighting my feelings. When he wraps his arms around my waist. When I get lost in his eyes. All these memories made me smile. They reminded me of me of the times I was happy with Jake.
"Did you here me?", I hear. I look up in confusion.
"W-what?", I stutter. Immidiatly wiping the softgrin of my face.
"What were you smiling about?", I immisiatly panicked not knowing what to say.
"N-nothing", I lie and shamely look at the ground
"Look Alice, I'm sorry", I hear him say.
"For making you scared, making you cry, making you mad", he continued. But he was simply focusing in the negaive stuff. He didn't realize he made me so happy. My day can be ruined or made by a simple action or simple phrase he can say. And I hate that he has that control over me. In fact he can convince me to do anything. I simply looked up to him and focused in his eyes, that were no longer dark.
"How many times do I have to get hurt", I asked softly, and he didn't answer immidialtly.
"Alice, I-", He trailed off
"Do you honestly love me?", I asked as I tilted my head down.
"Yes", He said almost immidiaetly
And it made it even harder for me to do the next thing.
"Jake I-I don't want to get hurt anymore," I say still looking down
"I know you kept your promise for not hurting me physically, but", I was interrupted by him holding my hand. He lifted my chin, and made me focus on him.
Possibly for one last time...
"I hate to see you cry Alice, and I was always screw up somehow and you end up getting hurt", He said
"I know i'm not what you wanted, I know i'm demmanding, possesive, aggresive, but you just bring the best out of me. I probably did the stupidest thing once I found out you were with Ace, because the first thing that came through my mind was the worst", He said. I looked up to his eyes, and he seem'd hurt. It made me regret what I was going to do next, but I knew deep down inside me it was for the best. It was better because I wouldn't get hurt anymore.
"J-Jake", I trailed off, I felt the tears in my eyes building up, my heart beating a mile per minute.
"Y-you just play with my feelings..too much", I say. Once I uttered those words, I see his face changed immidiatly. Seeing how he processed the next words I was going to say.
"I'm sorry Jake...I-I don't think we can be together anymore..", I sniffle. I back away to get away from his embrace. I needed to be alone. I looked down at the ground because I didn't want to see him hurt.
"Alice...", He trailed off not finishing his statement. I wiped the tears that were forming in my eyes. Knowing that he was in shocked.
"Can I ask you one question then?", he asked
What could he possibly ask?
"What is it?", I ask, as I looked up.
"Did you actually love me?", he asked. I focused on his eyes and noticed that they were'nt filled with the eery darkness. I processed the words and let my brain and emotions produce an answer. I think back at all the memories I had with him. Did I actually, truly know what love is? I've cried for him. I fell for him everytime no matter what he did. I apologized multiple time and gave him every single chance. Was it love? Or stupidity?
"Yes", I softly say. Knowing, that those words would hurt him even more. Including me.
He walked over to me slowly and held on to my hand. He softly gripped on to them. As if he were going to hold on to them one last time. He lifted his head and focused on my eyes.
"Can I have one last kiss?", He said with a faint smile, and a faint smile made its way on to my face as well. He leaned close to me and placed his hands on my cheeks. Making every single second count. Making the last moment together memorable. Because we both knew it was going to be the last one.
