~Alice's P.O.V.~
It started to get harder for me to breathe, the air felt thicker. I never told anybody this, about Jake. I felt my whole body shaking, my voice seem'd to be muted. I could barely think about the mermories, let alone talk about them. I panic and start overthinking everything. I start to think of every little detail that could happen. What if Jake finds out I told someone? What if he goes to prison once the cops found out what he's done. What if he blames me? It would be my fault. It would always been my fault. What if he get's extremly mad at me? What if? It was he only thought running around my head. I then come back to reality. I was lost in my imaginery world of fear, I thought I was trapped in a nightmare, but I was wrong. I look up and scan where I was. I look over to my side and got startled once I saw Li was there, but I remembered why. I realized he's been hearing me this whole entire time. He's been listening to every detail I was saying. Paying attention to my facial reactions. I looked up to him, and my gaze meets his eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes, that were filled with worry. I look back down at my trembling hands.
"I-I was so scared Li," I whimpered.
"Jake and I. We were at a party around last week, but I was alone. Then I saw a picture. Of him kissing another girl." I paused. It still hurts. It still does.
"I-I of course thought of the worse. I knew something like this...would happen. I went home with Ace, hoping he would make me feel better, but...He..He tried to hit on me. I-I was hurt. But I would never do that to Jake." I say trying to keep myself together. I felt the room somehow get colder. I feel lonelier. It sounds ridiculous, but it doesn't even feel like Li is here. It's like I'm just talking to myself. I'm telling myself all the problems there has been in my relationship.
"So I left. But Jake came after me, and h-he was mad. I haven't seen him mad in..in such a long time, and the words he said...I never thought he would say that." I say as I close my eyes, hoping to make the memories go away. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks.
"I knew what he was going to do. What he could have done that night." I softly say.
"H-he then realized what he was doing...and somehow stopped himself. So I-I broke up with him there." I finished, with my eyelids closed shut.
"He wanted to see me today in my break." I state
"He said all those things again, that he loved me." I continued
"I love him too...but at the same time-"
"You're scared." He finished for me.
"Y-Yeah," I answer
"Alice...the same thing is happening over-"
"Over and over again, I know." I finish. I know what he's talking about. I think about that constantly it's nothing new. I hear Li mumble something under his breath, but it was to low for me to hear.
"Alice...You deserve so much better," He stated.
"Do I? Do I really? Because It doesn't seem like it Li," I state. Finding it pathetic that he tells me that.
"This Jake dude, first of all shouldn't fucking hurt you. If he really did love you, why did I find you crying alone? Instead why didn't he chase after you? That's what I sure as hell would have done." I slowly glance up at Li. And he looked mad.
"Second of all, he shouldn't lay a fucking hand on you. Can't he fucking see how delicate and beautiful you are? Is he fucking blind? And then kissing another girl? That's pathetic. He should be thankful to have you. Instead he's freaking hurting you!" He continuous, his anger seem'd to grow.
"Third of all, he shouldn't be saying he will change. He should actually prove it to you." He let's out a sigh, as if that took up a lot of his energy.
"Yes," he then vaguely states in a much calmer tone.
"You deserve so much better," he states. I glance up and the first thing I see are hazel eyes and I was pretty sure I got lost there for a minute. I instantly look back down at the floor, with heat rushing up my cheeks, embarrassed. As if we were meeting all over again. The memory of us meeting then brings a smile on my face. It doesn't even feel like we met this morning. It feels like I've known Li forever.
"I don't know what to do, Li." I state, trying to break the awkward silence.
"Alice. You shouldn't have people like that in your life." he advises me
"Here, from now on I'll try to help you forget about that jerk face," I glance up at him with a smile on my face, only to see a smile on his face as well.
"Austin told me that his friend here are having a party-" I cut him off, already knowing my answer.
"Li. No I just-"
"See, whenever you think about parties, bad memories come up. We should replace those with good one," he said with a smile. I wasn't quiet sure with this, but I do see his point. Maybe he's right. I should replace those bad memories with good ones. I glance over at the clock and it was 7:48 pm. It's really early.
"Austin said he'll pick us up," He stated
"If you wanna go,"
"I promise I won't leave you if you come." He assured me. Then a thought crossed my mind.
"What if Jake is there Li?" I asked, worried.
"Ignore him. Instead make him jealous" I don't remember a time when I tried to make Jake jealous.
"Okay I'll go," I said with a smile. I glance at my current outfit. I changed my pants, but we both still had out shirts from work.
"Are you gonna go change?" I asked pointing at his shirt
"Austin is bringing me a shirt," he replies
I nodded and stood up to stretch. We have been sitting pretty much all day long. I glance back over at Li with a grin on my face.
"Give me 10 minutes," I state and skip up the stairs to my room. Just the thought of me actually having a good time at a party makes me happy.
I head over to my dresser, and look through all of my clothes. The words Li said kept showing up in my thoughts.
How would I make Jake jealous? I dug around until I found a loose gray long sleeve and a pair of black shorts. I head over to my closet and slip on some black vans. This isn't my usual outfit. I'm really insecure about my body, and rarely even wear shorts. I only use them to wear then in soccer. After I was done tying my shoes, I head over to the bathroom and apply my usual mascara and add a light pink shade on my lips. I decided to let my hair down and my hair turned out to be really curly because of the bun my hair was previously in, so I decided to rock the messy hair look. I added some small tweaks here and there and was finally done. I head out of the bathroom to head downstairs hopefully looking good.
