Take My Hand

15 My Poor Heart Aches

They were back to ignoring me at breakfast. It was strange. I felt weird about it. On one hand I was glad to be avoiding their conversation. On the other hand, it hurt to know that I meant so little to them. Still.

The cast was coming off soon and I was counting down the days to freedom from it. It was hot, and itchy. I wanted to break it open myself, but Sasha's stern gaze kept me from doing anything stupid. Well, too stupid.

I was still shaken from my 'almost' confession. He was the same. Still watching over me with that steady gaze and firm attitude. I didn't know what to make of it. Did he really love me? I wanted to believe it.

I had yet to receive a punishment or a reward for the past few weeks. Maybe he was waiting for something. It was driving me crazy not knowing though. Maybe he wanted to test my patience. I don't know.

I did know I was ready to snap. It was like my energy was just coiling up inside me until I thought I was going to burst. My emotions were unsteady too and it took everything I had to keep from exploding at someone.

Not Sasha. No, he rarely actually made me angry. If anything his presence was calming. My parents though... yeah I wanted to rip them a new arsehole. Tell them what pathetic shits they were being to me.

It probably wouldn't make a difference though. They would look at me with their dead eyes and forget about it the next second. It was all I could do not to throw things some days. Just to get a decent reaction from them.

I sighed and got up from the table, picking up my crutches and hobbling my way to the door. There he was. My guardian angel. I smiled at Sasha as he led me out of the house to the waiting car.

"Not much longer Sir." The driver, Matthew said with a grin. I looked up into the mirror and shared a grin.

"I'll be glad when it's gone. Not gonna lie." I allowed. He nodded and turned his full attention to the road as he pulled into traffic.

"I will have a car ready for your appointment and arrange with the school." Sasha said next to me.

"Did they call with an appointment time then?" I asked with excitement.

"Yes." He replied. I cheered and nearly hit him in the seat next to me.

"Oh, sorry Sir." I said sheepishly as I pulled my arms close to tuck under my armpits. I could feel my face flame up with a blush and looked away while he chuckled.

"It is alright Lukas. I know you are excited."

*

"So that is your final word?" My mother stood in front of me in a ridiculous outfit. I did not get women's fashion at all. It looked uncomfortable. Those heels alone looked like they were breaking her feet.

"I'm sorry. I can't date Jessica." I replied with a firm tone. She sighed and dropped her arms from her hips in an exasperated gesture.

"Fine. Get out of here." She turned her back to me and stared out the window at the rain pouring against the pane. I looked at her straight spine and rigid features for only a second before following her orders and leaving.

I felt uneasy at her silence. Something felt off about it and I wanted to run upstairs to see Sasha in order to get rid of the restless feeling in my chest. My father was standing in the front hall putting on his jacket.

"I'm disappointed Lukas." He murmured as I walked past him. The rustle of his jacket and click of his shoes seemed to echo in the space just like the words echoed in my head.

Jerk. As if you've said anything else my whole life. I thought as I climbed the stairs without looking back. If anyone should be disappointed, it should be me. What kind of parents set such a shitty example for their kids?

"How did it go?" Sasha asked quietly as I shut my door behind me. I shrugged and my eyebrow wrinkled at my thoughts.

"I'm not sure. She was quiet. Almost too quiet? Dad said he was disappointed. Figures she'd text him right away." I sat on my bed and stretched my tired muscles. It felt a little weird to be without the cast on my leg.

"We will deal with whatever comes of it. You did what was right." He replied with a firm voice. I nodded and laid back. I sighed as a weight sat next to me and firm fingers kneaded the muscles in my calf.

"I know. I'm just worried." I closed my eyes and let myself relax under his skilled hands. It was hard not to get a little excited when he moved up to my knee and began rubbing the tense knot in my thigh.

"Does that hurt?" He asked with worry clouding his tone. I smile and shook my head a little.

"Just a little. It's fine. It will hurt more if you don't get the knot out." I allowed. He didn't like it when I lied. Not even a little white lie if I could help it. Dealing with my parents made me understand where he was coming from.

Once the lies started, well where would they end? First it is about your feelings. Then who you are or where you want to go. Next it is what you are doing and who you are with.... No. Better to be straight with him.

You know what I mean. I looked up when he stopped massaging my leg and felt a sharp pain of disappointment in my chest. I wish you would keep going. I sighed to myself. He smiled at me.

"Get changed. You can relax and eat dinner in the kitchen tonight. Both of your parents will be out tonight." His words were like a balm to my spirit.

"Thank GOD." I spat with energy. I flung myself up out of bed and danced a little as Sasha rolled his eyes and got out my pajamas. I licked my lips and approached him to help me disrobe.

I watched him as he helped me remove my jacket and tie. I stared at him as he unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it off my torso. I waited to see if he would help me with my trousers, but he hadn't since my cast came off two days ago.

I took them off myself and slipped into my pajama top quickly. I bend down to remove my boxers and pulled on my pajama bottoms as I sat on the side of the bed. He wasn't looking at me.

"Can you help me with my socks? I'm a little stiff." I smiled innocently as he looked over. He came over and removed the first sock. I shivered as his firm grip held my bare foot. He slipped the fresh sock on and I blushed at the sight of his head bowed in front of me.

The second one followed and I resisted the urge to reach out to brush my fingers through his hair. It looked so shiny and smooth. It had to be soft. I wonder what his shampoo smells like?

"Lukas?" I gasped as I came out of my daydream and met a very amused set of dark eyes. I gulped.

"Yes Sir?" I managed to get out. He sighed and got up, offering me a hand.

"Let's get something to eat."

1279