Take My Hand

53 Make this life livable

We cuddled until really late that night. I would wake up slightly in the warmth of Sasha's embrace and then fall back asleep. There was something intoxicating about being held in his arms and breathing in his scent.

We showered in the morning and left for work, but I felt a little bad because Sasha looked a bit more tired than usual. I felt a little guilty for staying up to play around but he was the one who wanted to do it.

Work was the same old. I texted Sasha at my break, but he didn't answer back. My frown must have been obvious. Marcus asked me what was wrong. I shrugged. It didn't seem like anything was wrong.

"I don't know. We had a great time last night. Maybe he is just tired?" I mused and got back to work. Marcus kept shooting me looks. I wasn't upset though.

Just before he left, he slipped me a piece of paper torn off from his notebook. I looked at him questioningly. All that was written on it was a web address. It looked like some sort of blog, nothing that I would normally read.

"Check it out when you get home. Not here. Make sure you read it before Sasha gets back from work, okay?" He gave me a strangely knowing look and I nodded quickly to show him I was listening.

"Okay, I will." I said as he walked away. I tucked the paper into my back pocket and tried to focus on finishing out my morning. It wasn't slow, but it wasn't crazy. Just the way I like it.

I walked home and the bright day seemed to be echoing the lingering feelings I had from last night. I was so content. I might have had a skip in my step when I ran up the stairs to the apartment.

When I came inside, Sasha's shoes were already there. Warning bells rang in my head. He was never home this early. What was going on? I wandered in cautiously, looking for him.

He was sitting on the couch. His shirt was partially unbuttoned, his tie pulled, and an arm was thrown over his head tipped back onto the backrest of the couch. His posture was the sloppiest I had ever seen on him.

"Sasha? Sir? What are you doing home so early?" I asked respectfully. He stirred and glanced over at me, his eyes were dead tired. He pulled himself up to sit groggily and wiped his eyes with his fingers roughly.

"Hey Lukas, how was work?" His tone was flat, more perfunctory. I shook my head at him.

"It was good. You don't look so hot though. Are you okay?" I crept in and sat next to him. I stroked a hand over his bicep and tilted my head cutely at him, smiling in the hopes to cheer him up.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just tired." He mumbled. I wasn't sure if I quite believed him. I nodded though.

"Okay, why don't I do dinner today and you can have a nap?" I offered with hug. He hummed and squeezed me back.

"That would be really good, Lukas. Thank you." He shifted to get up and I helped pull him up from the couch.

"Go on. I'll wake you up when it's ready." I urged him when he hesitated. He nodded and left the room. Then I put on my concerned face. He wasn't okay. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I hoped he would tell me.

I got to making dinner and when it was in the oven, I recalled the paper Marcus had given me. I typed the address into my laptop browser and sat down to read while dinner heated up.

My eyebrows started low. There were terms that I had never heard of before. It was very informative though. It talked about the chemicals released during sexual activities, and those that are produced during alternative activities too.

It made sense, mostly. I didn't understand from experience about the responsibility aspects of being a dominant, and the article really spoke to me about what Sasha was possibly thinking and feeling.