Broken Vows

Chapter 10

And every time you yearn for me, it will hurt all over again and you will wonder why.

I don't know if my words could ever ease your pain. But I would be remiss if I did not try.

I do not have the answer to the question of why, at least not now and not in this life. But I do know that there is incredible value in pain and suffering, if you allow yourself to experience it, to cry, to feel sorrow and grief, to hurt.

Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger. I promise. You will ultimately find truth and beauty and wisdom and peace. 

You will understand that nothing lasts forever, not pain, or joy. You will understand that joy cannot exist without sadness. Relief cannot exist without pain. Compassion cannot exist without cruelty. Courage cannot exist without fear. Hope cannot exist without despair. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. Gratitude cannot exist without deprivation. 

Paradoxes abound in this life. Living is an exercise in navigating within them. 

You will be deprived of a mother. As your mother, I wish I could protect you from the pain.

But also as your mother, I want you to feel the pain, to live it, embrace it, and then learn from it. Be stronger people because of it, for you will know that you carry my strength within you. 

Be more compassionate people because of it; empathize with those who suffer in their own ways. Rejoice in life and all its beauty because of it; live with special zest and zeal for me. Be grateful in a way that only someone who lost her mother so early can, in your understanding of the precariousness and preciousness of life. 

This is my challenge to you, my darling, to take an ugly tragedy and transform it into a source of beauty, love, strength, courage, and wisdom. 

Many may disagree, but I have always believed, always, even when I was a precocious little girl crying alone in my bed, that our purpose in this life is to experience everything we possibly can, to understand as much of the human condition as we can squeeze into one lifetime, however long or short that may be. 

We are here to feel the complex range of emotions that come with being human.

And from those experiences, our souls expand and grow and learn and change, and we understand a little more about what it really means to be human. I call it the evolution of the soul. Know that your mother lived an incredible life that was filled with more happiness than she could ever imagine. 

You will feel alone and lonely, and yet, understand that you are not alone. It is true that we walk this life alone, because we feel what we feel singularly and each of us makes our own choices. 

But it is possible to reach out and find those like you, and in so doing you will feel not so lonely. This is another one of life's paradoxes that you will learn to navigate. 

First and foremost, you have each other to lean on. You and your father. You both meant everything to me, and that gives you a bond of blood and common experiences that is like no other. Find solace in one another. 

Always forgive and love one another. Then there's Aodhan your father. Then there are Nikolas, Julia and Romero, Alyssa and so many dear friends, all of whom knew and loved me so well — who think of you and pray for you and worry about you.

All of these people's loving energy surrounds you so that you will not feel so alone. 

And last, wherever I may go, a part of me will always be with you. My blood flows within you. You have inherited the best parts of me. Even though I won't physically be here, I will be watching over you. 

Know that your mother once felt as you feel and that I am there hugging you and urging you on. I promise. S

imilarly, when your time comes, I will be there waiting for you, so that you, too, will be given what was lost to you. I promise.

Romero your once best friend. He is everything to you. As a mother I saw the love I both your eyes for each other. That's a love you can't find with someone else. 

My last wish was to see you get married to Romero but now that I'm gone.

I hope you do. 

Romero will help you and guide you. He knows you inside out. 

I know it will be hard and you need to time to overcome the pain he left you with but Romero is the one. 

Marry him.

And make my heart happy. 

But in the meantime, live, my darling daughter.

Live a life worth living. 

Live thoroughly and completely, thoughtfully, gratefully, courageously, and wisely. 

Live! 

I love you forever and ever, to infinity, through space and time. 

Never ever forget that.

Yours only,

Mama.  

A/N:

Such an emotional letter. 

How do you think Athena will react?

What do you think is in Romero's letter?

What will happen between these two?

Comment and Vote

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