Ross Lynch Imagines

Like She Is

A/N: Eating disorders are something – that I feel – is not dealt with and talked about enough in today's life. There are many problems that people tend to ignore just because they don't understand them – I've never been one to shy away from difficult conversations and issues.

For anyone who goes through the same struggle: I know what you're going through. And you are absolutely beautiful just the way you are. Never allow anyone to tell you anything different. Don't allow the media or any other person to poison your view with stuff like 'how a woman/man should look'.

"Everyone is unique and everyone is beautiful," - this is something I was raised with and I believe it with every fibre of my being.

For eating disorder hotlines please visit https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/related/eating-disorder-hotlines/#gref

Trigger warning: eating disorders. If you're very sensitive to an issue like this, you may want to skip this chapter. The main character has the tendency to self-hate and be very insecure. If this upsets you, please don't read this chapter. 

Notice: the character's thoughts are in italics.

Word count: 5.7k (super long)

A tear slipped down my cheek as I stared at the photo on Twitter of my best friend Ross and his newest girlfriend. She was absolutely beautiful. Her long dark hair was beautifully wavy and her blue eyes shone brightly on the photo. And she was so petite. I've had feelings for my best friend for years now, but right now they were being overshadowed by some other feelings.

I gulped and exited the app.

I hated myself. I wasn't skinny like she was. I didn't have beautiful hair like she did. I didn't have a pretty face and gorgeous smile like she did.

I was curvier than most girls. No, I was fat.

I am fat.

I hated to look like this. I just wanted to be beautifully skinny; like she is.

Rebecca and I never got along well. She absolutely despised me. Whenever I was around she would glare and pick petty fights. She and Ross were still in the honeymoon phase that's why he didn't notice her attitude towards me. Riker did, however. She made Ross happy; who was I to try to get in the way of that?

I was struggling to lose weight. I've never been happy with my body. For years I've tried to make a change, but nothing was working. The fans on Twitter and Instagram only made it worse – every time someone uploaded a photo with me in it, they would criticise me and hate on me.

I carefully looked at my breakfast in front of me on the table. Maybe if I ate a little less? Or maybe if I only ate when it was absolutely necessary?

I took the breakfast and threw it in the trash. I wasn't hungry so it wasn't necessary to eat, right?

It's not like you need more food in that stomach of yours.

I frowned at the little voice in my head, but nonetheless continued on with my day and my duties.

The day continued on normally. By about 2 pm I couldn't ignore the hunger anymore and decided to make myself a small helping of salad.

I'm proud of you. You're holding out so well.

I let out a deep sigh as I sat down on my couch. "This isn't healthy," I muttered to myself.

So what? You think you're healthy now? Your body will get used to this; just keep going.

My world suddenly span for a split second as I looked at my lunch. I let out a groan and slowly started eating. As I was gulfing down my lunch a text alert came through on my phone. It was Ross.