the diaries of palestine.

Forever Waiting

1958

10 years and he still hasn't come back. 
10 years of waiting,10 years of crying and praying.
10 years of watching the door, hoping that someday he will walk through it, but he never did.
We got married only 2 weeks before the war. When he left to fight, I stayed with his parents waiting for him to come back home.

That home was destroyed.

So we escaped to another. But soon we were forced out again. 

We again had to move to another. We had so many chances to run away to a safer place, a safe far away land, but we chose to stay the closest we can. Hoping that one day he will return. 

Every time, his father would say that he dreamed of him and that he is still alive.

Sometimes I wish for a mercy bullet. Someone to come and tell us that he is dead and we should stop waiting.

But as soon as these thoughts come across me, I erase them thinking that I would wait for another 10 years, as long as he is okay somewhere.

I'm sure that he is alive. 10 years should be enough for proof of his death to arrive. But since it didn't, it should mean that he is alive.

I bet he is also looking for us too, but due to the borders, he couldn't find us yet. I mean, who knows where he had ended up after the fight? But I'm sure he is still alive. 

I’m his wife, even if he came back 50 years later, I’ll make sure to be there to welcome him.