Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

Hanging On By a Thread

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" She yelled suddenly, jumping up from the couch. "I don't know you! Get out of here!"

And there she went. She was gone, just like that. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, but I wanted a few more minutes with her before she relapsed. I stood up and pushed the button on the wall like I had done too many times to count over the past 2 years. I stood against the wall on the other side of the room as she screamed at the top of her lungs. The tears were falling out now and my body was shaking. The nurses ran in and subdued her, lying her down on her bed and injecting her with a sedative. She drifted into unconsciousness as they turned and walked out of the room, smiling sadly at me. I walked over to her bed and leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Bye, Mom. I love you so much. I miss you more than I ever thought I would." I kissed the scar on her cheek before I turned and ran out of the room, down the hall, and to the elevator as quickly as I could. I didn't want to have to talk to her doctor, I didn't want to face Sheila. I didn't need them telling me that this was part of her injury, that this was normal and I should expect it. I didn't want to expect it....I just wanted my mom back.

After I made it down to the lobby I walked slowly out into the pouring rain, no longer caring about getting drenched. I shuffled slowly to my car, letting the rain soak me through and through, the raindrops hiding my tears. I got in my car and drove off back to my empty house, wishing I could rewind the clock back before all this happened.

My mom was right; I was happy then. Everything was perfect and my life was great.

Now it was nothing but a pile of shit.

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I pulled into the driveway hardly noticing that Austin's car was still there. I looked at my reflection in the mirror: my red hair was beginning to curl from the rain, my eye makeup was running violently down my face, my powder was gone revelaing the gruesome bruise that had formed on my cheek. I couldn't bring myself to care; I felt numb.

I got out of the car and walked into the house. Austin was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching tv. He turned and smiled at me but I didn't even acknowledge him before I made my way to my room solemnly. I collapsed on the floor and leaned against my bed and sobbed loudly, not caring if Austin would hear. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I put my face in my hands as I cried, my body shaking violently as black tears stained my hands. I heard quick, loud footsteps pounding down the hall coming closer.

"Tyler, what's wrong?" Austin almost yelled, his voice full of worry. He crouched down in front of where I was sitting and stroked my hair. My wet clothes were clinging to me and I was beginning to shiver violently as my body temperature dropped rapidly. My crying stopped as my teeth chattered and I looked up at Austin. "Jeez, Tyler, you're soaked. C'mon let's get you out of these clothes before you freeze to death." I shook my head slightly as he grabbed my arms and pulled me off the floor. I shrieked in pain and pulled away from him, biting my lip in pain. His face dropped when he realized what he had done. "I'm so sorry, I-I forgot," he mumbled as he looked to the ground before walking towards me.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bathroom down the hall, sitting me on the edge of the bathtub. I sat there and played with my sleeves as Austin fumbled around in the cabinets for something. I looked up as he wet a washcloth with hot water, adding soap to it. He walked over and crouched in front of me again and began to wipe as gently as he could at the makeup stains on my face. He moved to the other side and dabbed softly around my bruise, careful not to hurt me. I just stared in his eyes as he cleaned my face off.

He walked me back to my room and slowly helped me tug my soaking wet sweatshirt up over my head. I wouldn't feel comfortable with any other guy helping me this way, not even Alan. Most guys would take things to far, take advantage of the situation, but I knew Austin wouldn't, and I was right. He dropped the sweatshirt in my laundry basket, leaving me in my jeans and a thin tanktop. I reached down and tried to pull my tanktop up, but the pain was too much to bear and I winced. Austin looked at me sadly before helping me pull the black piece of clothing off of my body, leaving only my bra to cover my upper half. He drew in a sharp breath as he looked at me, and I walked over in front of the mirror; my hand shot up over my mouth in horror as I gazed at my almost-naked torso. My side was covered in a deep, black bruise, that ran almost the entire length of my side and encroached on my back and stomach a little. I moved my hand down allowing my fingers to trace it lightly as I choked back tears. My arms were marked with Kody's handprints in several different spots.