Set You Free (CANEM)

LVI

The whole room silenced and she ate her words.

All the eyes in the room staring at her, judging her.

She knew it was untrue but she felt as though they could see through any kind of facade that she was putting on. They could see her lies and they knew everything. 

They judged her.

They were ashamed.

Sanem looked up to Can as her lifeline but all he could do was look back at her with confusion. She had decided to speak out, so she was going to have to say what she was going to say. 

"What is it Sanem?" Mevkibe asked, regarding her.

"I- I... We..."

She felt his gentle hands around hers but she couldn't do it. Suddenly, she broke and her plan failed.

"We - uh, we're having a New Year's Eve party if you would like to come."

Once again, sighs of relief but annoyance sounded quietly, as those who knew expressed their emotions. You could see within the desperation of her face how much this was testing her. It was the one thing that was very dangerous ground in Turkish households, so she knew she had to tread as carefully as possible, even if that meant saying nothing at all.

"That would be nice, wouldn't it Nihat?" Mevkibe smiled.

The jolly man smiled gladly. "Tabii."

Sanem felt Can's heavy and judging gaze upon her. 

She couldn't bring herself to look at him.

After a brief discussion about these fake arrangements and plans, Sanem wished her family goodbye and headed outside in a rush. As Can followed her outside, the door sounded behind them.

"Sanem, wha-"

Before he could finish his question, she ran into his embrace and burrowed herself there, softly whimpering. What could be such a strong woman was now diminished to a puddle of tears.

"Shh, it's okay." He soothed.

She lifted her head out of a nook in his arms.

"I hope you're not angry with me. I just couldn't-"

Can brushed her hair from her face. "Hey, why would I be angry? Look, we knew this was going to be difficult, didn't we? We do need to tell them but we aren't in some sort of immediate rush. They just have to find out before there are two children running about the house."

Sanem giggled slightly.

"Give it some time. Don't try and rush into it; that will just stress you out." 

Sanem nodded.

"Now we have to go and find a bulk pack of balloons, thanks to your fantastic cover-up story." Can chuckled, shaking his head.

-

The company looked as beautiful as ever, especially accentuated with lit trees and tinsel for the New Year.  Lights of every colour emitted warm glowing luminescence as far as the eye could see. The staircase had circular baubles dangled from it and the light fixtures were draped in streamers.

She loved this time of year.

The promise of new things. A fresh year to start over again.

Sanem couldn't believe that in the year coming, she would give birth and have her wonderful children. She couldn't comprehend such a change. Right then, it didn't seem real. 

The new year was the opening of a new book with its pages blank. It gave way to all the most exciting opportunities and events.

This year would change her life.