Set You Free (CANEM)

LIV

Love.

It will not betray you,

Dismay or enslave you,

It will set you free.

-

The weeks flew by as they always did in the winter.

With the change of scenery, skies turning from blue to a dullish grey, came the change of Sanem. She observed the clear transition of her body and her mind in the two weeks that had passed. It doing so with the brashness and ferocity of a speeding train.

She noticed the stretch marks that began to appear around the base of her belly, notifying her that there was still further growing that her body must endure. With tender breasts and sore feet, her body became exhausted.

Can, aware of such changes, could only stand by and watch, distressed by her discomfort.

With the turning over of the months from the penultimate to the last, the year did feel as though it was coming to its end. Such a year. Twelve months with twists and turns that had shown some captivating and unexpected moments.

Sanem plodded from the kitchen into the living room, wrapped up warm in some fleece sweatpants and cosy t shirt. The coffee she held in her hands was piping hot and gently, she relished every sip. 

Leaning against the door frame, she looked out longingly to the garden. Each soft exhale condensing as steam against the cold windows. The sky outside was grey but each cloud held a different shade, making a monochrome pattern above her. The blistering wind made a susurrus that echoed against the house and she could almost auralize it as whispers in her ear.

What was once a bright and happy garden in the summer was now cool and dark. The placement of such a house did not help the situation due to the dip that it was in and the looming forest that surrounded it. 

If she squinted enough in the mid-months of July, she could see the centre of Istanbul in the far distance of the house, thanks to the general cloudless sky. Nevertheless, the house now felt isolated, which only added to the foreign feeling Sanem felt with the pregnancy.

Her eyes flicked over to movement in her peripheral vision and her face dropped further.

All she could do was watch as Can took the hammock down for the winter.

The memories and the times spent there made her reflect. She could not find the words to describe how it made her feel. It was that kind of sensation when a grown adult looks back on their childish things that used to bring them joy.

 A nostalgia almost. 

How long until they could bring it out again?

How long until she could feel whole again?

These were big questions with almost impossible answers.

With only a select few people who knew about this pregnancy, she felt alone. 

She had to put her faith in the two of them alone. That was what would get her through this.

Because in the end, it was just the two of them.

-

As the day seemed to end just as it had started, Can and Sanem retreated inside for the evening. It was only around four o'clock but by now, it was visibly dark and gloomy.

After collecting the plates for dinner and cleaning up the cutlery, Can walked up to Sanem and wrapped his large arms around her waist. 

"I love you." He whispered.