If You Had One Wish... (Smosh Fanfiction)

23 - A Little Help From a Laser

Lasercorn was finishing up a livestream with Mari, Joven, Wes -and Tyler, of course- when his phone alerted him about an incoming call. He picked up his phone and saw an unfamiliar number was calling him. He stared at the unfamiliar number curiously.

"Anyone important?" Wes asked, also curious. He stretched his neck to see the strange number on Lasercorn's screen.

"Probably not," Lasercorn shrugged. "Probably a telemarketer or something."

He let it go through to voicemail and heard this: "LASERCORN YOU LITTLE BI(bloop) YOU BETTER PICK UP THE FU(bleep)ING PHONE RIGHT NOW IT'S A WEIRD NUMBER BUT TRUST ME YOU NEED TO PICK UP. Okay? Oh, this is Ian. And I will end Iancorn if you don't answer within a minute." The message ended abruptly, and they all reacted in complete silence to the message.

Mari was the first to break the silence. She had her hands over Tyler's ears., who looked around innocently, but confused. "What was that about?" she asked, dumbstruck.

Lasercorn just stared at his phone, his eyes even wider than they usually were. "Should... I, uh... answer?" he asked them all nervously. Mari, Wes, and Tyler nodded, while Joven shook his head.

"Um, NO. First of all, that was just rude," Joven pointed out. Before he could say anything else, Wes butted in.

"BUT, it sounded really urgent. They could be in trouble-" Wes was cut off by Joven, who waved away Wes' inquiry. "Eh, they're Smosh. What could be happening to him right now that would be so terrible that they'd contact us?"

"You'd be surprised," Wes and Mari replied together.

"But surely they wouldn't need our assistance-" Joven pointed out.

"What is this?" Wes asked. "Smosh and Order?!"

"Well, I'm going to pick up," Lasercorn said quickly. Definitely not because of Iancorn... he thought to himself sheepishly. I'm a fu(bleep)ing father and I'm answering a phone call to save an extremely old ship that will never actually be acted upon. He shook his head. What is this world coming to?! Then after a slight hesitation, he reluctantly called back the random number.

***

"Are you sure that wasn't too harsh?" Olivia asked Ian after he'd ended the message, fuming. The rest of them stared at him like he would go rabid any minute. Which could happen.

I mean, this is Ian we're talking about.

"Trust me, it'll get him, I know Laser." he paused, before adding, "also, that's really how I'm feeling right now. Might as well express it to somebody," he laughed sadly to himself, and everyone just stared at him awkwardly as he ran a hand through his hair and laughed some more. It was kind of depressing.

Luckily the lady's phone buzzed, and Noah took over answering this time. "Lasercorn?!" he asked desperately as soon as the ringing stopped.

"Oh, hey Noah, you're with Ian too?" Lasercorn asked somewhat casually. It was clear he was pissed from Ian's voicemail, which worked in their favor. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't have picked up the phone in the first place.

"Dude, this is serious," Keith added.

"Keith, too? You guys making a video?" Lasercorn asked cooly

"NO, WE ARE NOT MAKING A VIDEO," Ian practically hissed. Lasercorn seemed taken aback by this.

"Actually, we really need your help," Noah said, trying to maintain a calm attitude so he wouldn't scare Lasercorn away. "We need a ride. Like, quick. We're currently being chased down by three sketchy figures and they'll be here soon. Very soon."

"So... if you could hurry, no pressure," Damien said nervously. "HA, NO PRESSURE AT ALL." He said, almost hysterically.

"Wait, where are you?" Lasercorn asked them.

"If we told you, you wouldn't believe us," Ian muttered. "So just look for a giant circle of cones in the middle of nowhere. Please, just... hurry." He almost collapsed again, but Noah and Olivia helped him make his way back to the wheelchair. He shut his eyes and tried to relax. Or fall asleep.

Lasercorn still seemed hesitant. It was almost like he was looking for an excuse not to help them. "I mean... I could, but then I'd have to trust Mari, Joven and Wes to watch Babycorn, and honestly I don't think I want to do that. Mari, maybe, but never Joven. EVER again. But we all could always come and get you, or something."

"There's kind of a lot of us," Olivia added nervously. "Do you have room for five?"

Lasercorn groaned from the other side of the phone.

"Please? It's urgent," Damien pleaded. "Just put 'Cone Town' into Waze or Maps."

"I'll... I'll figure something out. Only for you guys," then he said, "WHAT?! CONE Town?!'

They figured it was the appropriate time to hang up.

***

Lasercorn held the phone in his hand, confused. "They hung up," he clarified to Mari, Joven, and Wes, who nodded slowly, as if they understood but actually didn't. Lasercorn began to freak out. "WHAT... WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!" he yelled, careful not to curse in front of his child. His wife would kill him if Tyler picked that up. He apologized to Tyler for yelling. "Daddy's just kind of... stressed out right now." he explained calmly to Tyler, who's eyes had gone wide.

"That was really urgent," Wes repeated. "We should go. Like, now. Or something. We should go help them, because that sounded really urgent."

"What if they just want to drag us out there as a prank?" Joven complained.

"I don't know... everyone loves Iancorn. Would Ian really be that willing to trash it?" Mari pointed out. Lasercorn knew how much of a fangirl she was when it came to Iancorn. She must've been completely disturbed by the fact that there was a slight risk of it ending. "Maybe he's just using it as a lure and he really needs your help or something."

Lasercorn nodded, then shrugged. "But still... Cone Town? Really?!" he scoffed, unable to believe it. "Can you believe it?" he asked Tyler, who just stared at his father.

"I believe it," Mari shrugged too, and Joven sighed.

"I don't," Joven muttered. "I think this is kind of ridiculous. They're being chased by three sketchy figures? Bull. At least give us identities so Wes can bring his paintball gun," he said sarcastically. Wes shot him a dirty look.

"But what if it turns out they actually weren't lying, Joven?" Mari shot back. "What if they really are in trouble? Besides, they're our friends. Even if they are pranking us, I wouldn't miss seeing them for the world." her eyes shimmered with determination.

"Anything to save Iancorn," Wes exclaimed. "Oh, and everyone else," he added quickly after Mari glared at him.

Lasercorn felt adrenaline course through him like a sudden burst of energy. "Road trip!" He declared. "We're renting a bus."

This declaration caused several different reactions:

Mari fist pumped before yelling, "Yes! Something interesting."

"Where are we going to find a bus?!" Joven asked, exasperated.

Tyler got up and whooped. "Road trip!" Babycorn repeated his father.

"Let's gooo!" Wes exclaimed worriedly.

"Well... guess we're going, then." Lasercorn said, flicking on some sunglasses. His new ones, after his old ones were destroyed in Smosh Summer Games: We Blew It. "And we'd better hurry, for everyone's safety. Let's bust outta here."