The Alpha's Pen

Chapter 37

   "Derrick?"

Adrian nodded.

We sat on the bed, our backs leaned against the back board. I sat criss cross and Adrian sat with his legs outstretched, crossed at the ankles.

"So like a split personality?"

"'Sorta," his eyebrows knitted, looking for a way to explain. "He wasnt fully there - I was fighting for control. And, he doesnt really act like that. He likes you- a lot. And he wouldn't do anything that you wouldn't want. I don't even think he'll disagree with you. He feels bad, if that makes a difference."

It did.

At least he knew he did something wrong.

"So you can like speak to him? Like when you talk to yourself in your head?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Basically."

"What's he saying now?" I was curious.

Adrian paused, like he was thinking. "Hes pouting. But going on and on about how sorry he is and that he couldn't help it."

I nodded. "Could he help it?"

He shook his head, a few strains of hair fell over his forehead. I wanted to push it away and out of his face but I resisted the urge.

"No. When it comes to marking, the moment before you do it your wolf will take over. Then when its done its back to you. Animal instincts will kick in. And for you, being unmarked for so long it's a lot harder to control ourselves to not mark you. Being an Alpha doesn't help that case either." He explained.

"What do you mean?" I shifted my body so I'd face him.

"Werewolves. We do everything fast, the mate bond is what causes that. The pull you have towards me, electric feelings, all of the unexplainable things that doesn't make sense. Mine is ten times worse because I'm an Alpha. Mates usually get marked the day they find each other. Getting marked shows other wolves she or he is claimed and to back off. We're possessive creatures, its hard going days without marking your mate for normal wolves. So losing control like that is predictable, you've been unmarked for a month now and im an Alpha."

I comprehended everything he had said. Does that mean hes in pain? I cringed at the thought - me bringing him pain.

"Does it hurt?"

He chuckled and shook his head. A grin pulled at his lips. He had a nice grin.

"No," he paused before adding. "Not physically."

I tilted my head in question. And made a questionable face.

"Sexually." He cleared his throat just as quickly as the words left his lips. "As in its just harder to not mark you or- erm, other things." He was talking about the finished process. Sex.

I remembered what he had said in his office.

"So," I trailed off. "It's hard not to have sex with me?" That didnt sound weird at all.

"No," he laughed. "The temptation to touch you, kiss you, mark you, everything. Its hard to control myself and not do those things."

I nodded. Glanced at him. "Y'know, I never said you couldn't do those things..." I trailed off.

He didnt say anything for a moment. "The marking is an intimate thing. And we tend to get interrupted the last few times I've attempted to kiss you."

True, much less mark me.

"We're alone in your bedroom." I countered. "Who's gonna come in here?"

"Are you hinting I mark you? Or?" He trailed off, giving the 'Or sex?' Finish.

"No, no, no-" I rushed out. "I don't think marking with you out of control is a good idea, wouldn't it make you want to finish the process more? And, and then heat- for me?"

He nodded, "True."

"And, erm, I'm not exactly ready for -for sex..." I trailed off. "Expectantly not with what's going on." With dickhead on the lose.

"I didn't mean like that, I just, it was a question and -" I cut him off.

"Kiss you." I spoke. "I want to kiss you."

"But," I added. "I don't think you want to kiss me. And its probably not a good idea if you can't control your wolf."

I fiddled with my fingernails I stead of looking for his facial reaction.

"I want to kiss you," he replied. "I really want to kiss you." He sighed. "I couldn't keep control when you were in a towel. No physical contact needed. I don't want to hurt you and I definitely don't want to do something I can't control that you dont want me to do."

I nodded. It made sense. But I couldn't help the small disappointment that filled in my chest.

"El," he spoke softly now, his hands cupped my cheeks as quick as I blinked.

"Adrian," I mimicked.

He soft grin pulled at his lips. "I'll control myself," he leaned forward.

My eyes closed awaiting, only inches apart.

"Adrian!?" The doors bursted open.

"Oh my God!" I blurted out, tossing my hands in the air.

Adrian dropped his, groaned and hit his head on the back board of the bed. "What!?"

Luke stood panting at the door, sweat dripped from hus forehead. He didnt seem to care that Adrian and Is yet to be kiss was yet again interrupted.

"We know what hes doing," he breathed out. "And its not good."