Chapter 31

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Chaeyoung


It's been a week since we...since we break up...That week was supposed to be our last week of having just us together...but unfortunately it didn't happen.


I've been lying here in my bed since I don't know...since she left?, When I woke up I don't have the energy to do something. I don't want to do something. I just get up if I want to pee or if I want to drink water, but don't get me wrong I'm not drinking alcohol. The moment I met her I told myself that I won't be drinking anymore, there's no use, I'm happy being with her and there's no point in drinking to forget my problems. I don't have those because I have her, had, rather...


I stared at the ceiling, reminiscing the times that I'm with her. I turned to my side and saw it empty. I reached for her pillow and hugged it. I smelled the lingering smell of her Jasmine perfume. I smiled knowing her scent is still there. It'll help me, I can still pretend that she's here...with me.


I closed my eyes and let myself be intoxicated by her scent. I hugged it tightly as I felt tears forming inside my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes and let it fall. My breath hitched as I saw her, lying there, looking at me innocently. I shed a tear as I tried to reach her face.


"I'm sorry Mina...I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for everything please come back. Don't leave me, I didn't mean what I said. I don't want you to find the better one. I'm the one for you and there's no use of finding that person because you have me...you had me...so please-" I hiccup, pleading and crying. She just smiles at me, the one showing her gums.


"I wish I can say it to you...to the real you...I love you Myoui Mina and that will never stop." I said whispering while she just smiles. I ironically hit my chest, trying to stop the breaking of my heart.


I stared one last time before I forcefully closed my eyes. I know once I open this, she will be gone. I slowly opened it and did not see her, instead I saw a scarf. It's a rainbow color. I smiled knowing it was the one she knitted for me. I got up and went to it. I wrapped it around my neck and put the two other ends against my lips. I kissed the scarf as if it was Mina. I fell on my knees and broke down again. I've been doing this every minute now huh. I took a deep breath, anticipating that tears will stop. I leaned on the wall and stared at the ceiling. I wiped the tears and chuckled bitterly.


"I looked pathetic. Love really does these things to you and you just have to accept it. They make you feel great but then hurt you like hell. This is painful but what can I do? I love you Mina and I know I will never find another one like you." I smiled thinking of her, even though my heart breaks. I stand up and leave my room.


"I really need to stop crying, my eyes were so swollen and it hurts." I told myself as I reached for a glass of water. I was in the middle of drinking when I heard my doorbell. My heart beat fast, her face instantly flashed in my mind. I put down the glass and ran to the door. I fixed myself then took a deep breath. I opened the door with a smile.


But my hopes fell as I saw my friend's worried face on me. I sighed then fully opened the door for them. I walked to my living room and waited for them. I can already tell that they're here to ask questions. I'm glad that they really waited a week before seeing me. I'm happy they know and respect that I can't open up that fast. I sat on my couch and saw them also sitting.


Minutes pass and no one still talks. I raised my head and met their sorry and worried eyes. I smiled at them, even though it's a fake one. I leaned back and sighed.


"Why are you guys here?, I haven't cooked anything so there's no food. There are snacks there if you want." I said, still smiling. They looked uneasy at each other. Probably because of how "real" my smile is.


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