(F)lawless [lashton] ✔️

Thirty Eight

Luke sighed heavily, back pressed against his door as he slowly began to lower himself to the floor; eyes burning even though he couldn't bring himself to cry. 

"Fuck!" Luke slammed his fist hard against the ground, causing Calum to jump up off of where he had stayed seated on his bed.

"Lu? What happened?" He cautiously stayed back, careful not to get close to anyone who held even the mildest of anguish. He wouldn't let himself get hurt again.

"Goddammit!" Luke cried out again, fingers curling ridiculously tight in his hair and yanking hard. "He's coming back!"

"...Who?"

"Ashton!" Luke abruptly shot to his feet, eyes ablaze with rage and hurt. "He's coming back!"

"Is... Is that not good?" Calum questioned, slightly lost.

"No it's not good!-"

"But you could talk to him." Calum tried. "You could finally clear your head."

"He used me, Calum! He used me for sex-!"

"I know, but... we do the same to other people, Luke."

"Yeah but we don't get involved." Luke argued with fire. "We don't fuck people over if we know they like us, we don't get attached."

"I like you..." Calum seemed to shy down as he spoke.

Luke softened for the briefest moment. "I like you too."

"Doesn't that mean we used each other?" Calum anxiously asked, worried as his brown eyes threatened to fill with tears.

"What? No!" Luke grabbed Calum's hand. "I really like you, Cal. Like a lot. I didn't kiss you just to never do it again. You're like... my unofficial boyfriend, you know? I like you. I'd never use you."

"But he—" Luke let go of Calum, torn up with emotions he never wanted to feel again, "-he fucking used me even though he knew—he knew!—I loved him!"

Calum let out a quiet breath, stunned by the slipped up confession Luke gave. 'You loved him?"

"Yes, Cal. My dumb fuckin' ass loved that stupid cunt! Hell, pretty sure I still love him. I know it's fuckin' ridiculous, and I hate myself enough as it is so don't rant and rave at me for it, okay?"

"No, no it's okay. I get it." Calum assured. "I love someone else too, Luke. I get it. I do."

"God, I feel like--I dunno, like some fucked up mess. You know?" Luke almost wanted to laugh. "Like, gimme a girl in black with hoop earrings and my life would be a fuckin' shit music video."
He let out a humourlessly dry laugh. "You feel me?"

"Yeah, I guess." Calum rubbed his hand along his arm, biting his lip as he briefly thought about what to say. "When's he gonna be back?"

"Thursday. So like, two days."

"Where did he even go?" Calum asked, curious. 

"I dunno. Upstate with his dad, I guess." Luke ran a hand through his hair before letting out a light sigh. "You up for a trip to the Bronx?"

"The what?"

"It's what we call the streets off of The Ave. You know? The place behind that old DVD shop?" 

Calum's eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, put off. "Uh, Luke, that's where all the gangs live. I don't want to walk through their territory." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Makes sense they call it the Bronx."

"Yeah?" Luke spoke as though he didn't see Calum's problem. "They ain't that bad, Cal. I'm friends with like ninety percent of 'em."

"What the fuck? Did you seriously join Michael's gang?"