(F)lawless [lashton] ✔️

Thirty Five

Michael sighed, leaning back against the wall of Josh's hallway as shadows danced around him; faint lights flashing near the entrance-way from the television show that continued to play.

"Finally!" Calum's annoyed voice came through the speaker; irritated that he had to call so many times. "What takes you so long?"

"Just uh... argument with Luke-"

"Oh that cunt hole." Calum scoffed. "What'd he do this time? Shoot someone?"

"He just said a few things about everything. I dunno, it's stupid. It doesn't matter. Just pissed me off, I guess."

"He's good at that." Calum said. "It's like in his DNA or something."

"Hah... yeah..." Michael trailed off, dull green eyes staring at a mark on the floor, and as his vision began to blur he realised if he didn't get himself together soon he was going to become a mess on Josh's floor.

Hastily wiping his eyes, he knew he was about to stick his neck out.

"Hey, listen..." He started now, there was no backing down. "I was kinda wond'ring if maybe we could hang out?" He swiped away a few stray tears that made it past his defences. "Ya' know, it doesn't have to be much. I just kinda want to be with someone."

"Sure babe, I'm always down."

"No, no I don't mean sex." Michael corrected, his heart yearning for someone to just hold him. He was tired. So damn tired. "You know... I lost my best friend too, and it's like no one realises and I'm s'posed to what? Act like Ash ain't meant nothin' to me? I grew up with that guy and shit man it hurts. I ain't got nobody. Luke doesn't want anythin' to do with me 'less we're hitting joints and e'rybody else claims they got your back but they don't. They ain't true."

Calum had sat himself down on Michael's couch as the man began to ramble, his tone sharpening with a jagged edge as his words began to blend together as though he lived on the streets of Brooklyn's hardest area. Calum recognised the voice change, and he listened. He listened to the broken boy blurt his emotions in the only way he knew he could without getting torn apart. He'd grown up being forced to hold strong and act tough, to never let his guard down and never let anyone in, so when he took out his 'gang' voice it meant he was giving you the truth, but not the whole truth.

Never the whole truth. That could be used against him, and he wasn't about to let that happen.

Calum felt his grip strengthen on his mobile, his chest growing tight as he listened to the heartache Michael was letting out. Michael was right, no one was there for him when he needed them but he was always there for everyone else.

"They ain't ever true and I know it." Michael continued, unaware of the hurt that showed on Calum's face; realisation that the brunet had let this happen. "And I just wanna hang with you, Cal. Ya' know, like friends do. Like hell, I don't care if I needa pay for your time, just c'mon man... Can we be friends again? Like we used to be? I know your parents' divorce really messed you up and I just... I wanna be there for you. I really do, but you ain't lettin' me. You ain't lettin' anybody."

"Wow..." Calum shook his head, letting out a dry humourless laugh as tears filled his soft brown eyes; staring ahead at the blank T.V screen.

"I-shit-Cal, I'm sorry. I shouldn't've said anything, I'm such a fuckin' idiot, I-"

"No." Calum cut him off. "No, not you. I just... Am I really that bad?"

"Huh?"

"Like, you think you have to pay me to be your friend?" Calum let out another emotionless laugh, horrified at who he'd become in the eyes of the man he cared most about. "Course you don't have to pay me. I'm not a prostitute."