Viciously in Love

Eleven.

   An idiot.

   "Nothing." I sigh and get up from my chair.

  I pass by him and get myself a bottle of water from the fridge.

   "Whatever." he mumbles and walks away.

   I slam the fridge door and I turn around ready to tell him a thing or two but he's already out of my sight.

   "I'm sorry about that. It's better if you just ignore him." says Liz and smiles trying to convince me that it's really ok.

   Her own son.

   "No. I'm sorry." I say before I start following Jake. "I'm sorry I can't just ignore this."

   I almost start running up the stairs trying to get to that idiot's room faster. The audacity. Who does he think he is? Why on earth, does he think he is too good for literally anyone around him? What is wrong with him? His mother is an amazing woman, and she definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Especially by her own son.

   I growl when I press the door's handle and the door doesn't open. Locked. Not a chance this will stop me from kicking some sense into that empty head of his. I have enough examples coming from my mother and this... this will not stop me.

   "What is wrong with you?" he yells at me when he opens the door. I roll my eyes and I try to push him aside so I can get in; but he comes closer and blocks my way.

"I tend to believe you're not going to want anyone to hear what we're about to talk so you'd better let me in." I growl between my teeth.

He sighs and closes his eyes, probably trying to calm down. He opens his eyes and looks at me, then growls and lets me in. I pass by him hitting his shoulder with mine, on purpose. His room is exactly like I imagined it would be. Only dark colors, especially black and dark blue. The room is preatty clean and tidy - except the pile of clothes which is lying on the floor, his bed which is undone and his notes being a mess on his desk.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell you wanted to talk about?" he says raising his voice which makes it worse for me. 

"This. This is what I wanted to talk about." I says turning around so I can face him. "Your attitude. The way you treat people around you. The audacity which seems to not have any limits when it come to you. The way you're so arrogant it has started to annoy me. The way you don't want to care about anything or anyone around you. I wanted to talk about you."

I look at him while taking a deep breath, trying to make order through my thoughts. I see the hate gathering in his eyes and I feel a little shiver down my spine.

"You're arrogant. Without any fucking reason. You never care about the people around you; because for you, you matter the most. You don't care if you end up hurting people, even if you do it by simply standing next to them. You never think before you speak; that's why you end up saying the stupidest and most hurtful things so easy. You don't fucking care." I finally say it. I stop talking and I look at him trying to breath normal again. "You don't fucking care." I sigh. "But eventually... You will. And you'll be the only one. And then, my dear Jake, it's going to hurt like crap. All the people who are now kissing your ass for no reason, are going to leave you one day. And it's going to be soon. Then you'll have to go through everything by yourself."

He is frowned. It's so much hate in his look that it's killing me.

I don't regret anything from what I just said. He had to hear this. Maybe now he'll realize all the pain he has caused. Or maybe he still won't give a damn. But I had to try. Even if I risk my ass getting kicked.

"Are you done?"

His voice is deep and it matches perfectly with his tone and the look in his eyes.

"Yes." I whisper barely being able to speak.

"I'm glad that your majesty has such a good opinion about me." I roll my eyes ready to comment but he stops me. "You know what your problem is? You don't think." he adds and I frown. "At least not the way you should. I bet you never asked yourself: "how does he feel?" or "what does she think?". No.  For you there's just one correct answer. And that is yours. From your perspective, I hurt people with my words, when all I do is be direct and honest. From your perspective, I don't care, when I simply decide not to waste my time. I don't waste my time with people like you, for example. So thoughtful, kind, giving... Fucking perfect. Well let me tell you a secret, princess... I hate everything perfect. Because perfection doesn't exist. It's just fake people doing fake shit then lying about it. You and people like you make your lives perfect by lying, to yourselves and others. I'm sorry to disappoint you, princess, but someone had to say it. I get that you're too innocent and naive to understand that, but you have to do that if you want to come play with the big people."

   Fucking idiot.

I bite my lip as hard as I can trying to stop the tears from coming to surface.

"Like your mother?"

"What?"

   "You said you want to stay away from people who are thoughtful, kind, giving... Like your mother? That's why you keep hurting her? That's why you don't give a damn about her tears? Because she is fucking perfect? " I couldn't help myself from crying. I'm not that strong. Not right now. My voice and my hand are shaking but I try to hide that from him.

"Why don't you keep your nose out of people's business, princess?" he growls between his teeth while coming closer.

   "I don't think so. She is the only reason I'm risking my ass right now." I add and he frowns. "I'm tired to see this amazing woman cry and get hurt because of her own son. It's not her fault you're a dick. It can't be. She is too fucking nice. I can't blame her. She cares. Even if you don't. Even if you don't diserve her to care about you at all." I yell. "I have no fucking idea why so many people around you, love you, when all you do is to be a dick to them. And I don't think I'll ever figure it out. It's fucking insane and it doesn't make any sense... and yet it's happening."

"Because they're fucking idiots!" he yells interrupting me.

"Because they fucking love you, idiot!" I yell trying to cover him. "That's why." I whisper after he shuts up. "Because they love you." I wipe some of the tears off with me sleeve. "We don't choose who we love. It never depends on us. Just like it didn't depend on them. They had no choice when they started loving you. Because if they would've had that choice... I'm pretty sure they would've rather died than choose to love you and be part of your life."