38. destructive

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angstier than ever. listen to the song "the eye" by Infinite while reading, please.







"B-boyfriend?"

Jeno mutters with wide eyes as Jaemin enters the room with a little smile and a glass of water in his hand. However, his smile fades away the moment the older looks at him with gloomy face and hurt eyes. It doesn't take him long to realize what's going on as he hears Hendery's voice on the other line, although he sounds totally different at the moment - cold and haughty.

"Yes, his boyfriend, his prince, his lover, and who the hell on earth are you? What the fuck are you doing with his phone?"

Jaemin cringes at the Chinese boy's rudeness and overly high confidence level. He dashes towards the bed quickly to take the phone from Jeno's hand but the latter extends his hand, holding the younger's body at distance.

"Hold up, bastard. Shut your fucking mouth and calm down. I am his best friend and YOU are nothing compared to me. You got it? If you're his boyfriend, it concerns me. Jaemin deserves the best person out there, not a douche like you-"

Jaemin finally grabs the phone, pushing the older's body and takes a deep breath before speaking up,

"Hey, I thought we made everything clear yesterday. Why are you disturbing me again?"

Jeno stares at the boy with confused face and as he notices; his hands turn into fists and start trembling.

"Jaemin, listen. Please, give me one more chance. Please, I'm serious, I love you. Your lips are the only thing I want since yesterday, your face is the only thing I wanna see and touch. Jaemin, my gorgeous baby, please"

The said boy looks at his friend who's on the verge of committing something bad, anger boiling in his heaving chest, eyes looking down and eyebrows furrowed. The moment Hendery stops talking Jeno pulls at the bracelet on his wrist so hard that it breaks, all of its buds rolling down to the floor and under the bed. The younger's mouth falls open and he tries hard to utter a word.

"I-, hey, I'll call you back", Jaemin slowly approaches the bed and sits on its edge.

"No, I can't handle this, I gotta see you", Hendery's tone turns soft and desperate again.

"Hey, I said I'll call you back, be patient. It's not the right time to talk now, I'm sorry"

Jaemin hangs up, inhales loudly and takes some bracelet buds lying on the bed in his hand, playing with them with worried face and scared to look up at the older.

"Since when.. he and you?"

Jeno's tone is so dark that it sends shivers to the boy's skin as he looks up to meet his cold stare.

"Just four days"

The black-haired boy chuckles sarcastically still frowning,

"Bullshit. He's so whipped for you. I bet you've had sex, and even more than once"

Jaemin's mouth drops at these words and he freezes as if stuck by lightning, unable to believe his ears.

"What..? What did you say.. sex? M-more than once?"

Jeno mimicks his innocent face and sits closer to him, looking right into his eyes frowning even darker than before,

"Now you love Renjun, then you have sex with me, then you get another guy, who becomes your boyfriend just after the night we spent together. And you flirt with every human being around",

he cups the younger's face in a sharp move, causing the boy to wince from pain and lets go hitting him hard on the cheek. Jaemin falls on the bed and whimpers, rubbing on the abused spot and staring at Jeno in shock. The boy looks completely furious, as if possessed by demons.

"How does it feel to be such a whore, Jaemin?",
he mutters in a fake sweet tone and clutches Jaemin's hair pulling hard at it as shocked boy tries to escape sobbing, "You like playing around? Being a hoe for everyone who likes you?"

He grabs Jaemin's neck with his free hand and starts choking him, and the younger desperately tries to catch his breath.

"I hate you! Die! I hate your fake pretty face. I hate your stupid smile. I hate your disgusting flirty attitude. I hate you, bitch!"

He finally lets go of the boy who's face got swollen and red from tears and lack of oxygen. He stares at Jaemin for some moment, as the boy's chest moves up and down heavily his body shuddering and eyes squeezed shut from fear. All of a sudden Jeno's expression turns extremely sad and he turns away, covering his face from shame with his palms.

The next moment he bursts out crying into his palms, sobbing and shaking all along. Jaemin finally opens his eyes and looks at the boy sadly, still breathing heavily. He raises his body with much effort and puts his hand on the boy's thigh, who's crying got even louder. He leans on Jeno's tear soaked hands with his forehead, at last catching his breath and whispers in a croaked and harsh voice,

"I love you"

The black-haired boy shakes his head and continues sobbing,
"No, you don't"

"I do. You're my first and last. I love you"

Jeno hesitantly takes his palms from his tear blotched face and looks at the boy who looks back with all sincerity and affection. He cups Jaemin's face with both hands and places a firm kiss on his lips. Then he grabs the boy and holds him tight, as they both breathe shakily. The older feels a hand travelling under his t-shirt and the honey-haired nuzzles into his neck, kissing it ever so gently.

"I'll let you break me. I won't let anyone do this to me but you. Break me. Break me again. Break my heart. I'm even ready to die. Do that again, choke me to death",
he takes the older's hand with both of his and directs it to his neck, staring into his eyes.

Jeno's eyes widen as he clutches the boy's neck lightly and his other hand caresses messy honey strands of the younger. His lips start to tremble from pity and he puts the boy's head on his shoulder, kissing his forehead.

"Jaemin, what are you talking, baby please. I wanna die from this guilt. I don't deserve it. Stop loving me"

The younger caresses Jeno's cheek and looks up at him,

"You loved me first"



I'm very sad, because I'm a ugly piece of trash and the moment I started to believe my crush loved me back, he proved it wrong in every possible way. Anyways, thanks for your votes and comments.

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