Girls Need Love

Chapter 35: Choosing Me

MICAH

I woke up thinking about everything that had happen. I didn't know how to feel. I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want Travis to show up apologetic and begging me to be back in our life. The situation just wasn't something I was going to be able to let go of though.

I shook my head as I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to do my hygiene. I headed to the kitchen and made myself some tea before going to sit in my big chair and watch Travis while he sleeps. Looking at him he seemed exactly the same. His arm draped over his eyes with his hand on his lower stomach. I felt the babies moving around in my stomach as I watched him.

"Oh don't get excited" I put a hand on my belly "Missing him isn't enough"

"You know it's creepy to watch someone sleep and talk to yourself"

I smirked as he stayed in his position "Good morning to you too... and I was talking to them"

"Don't talk to my babies like that" he looked at me "Let us get our hopes up"

I shook my head as he got up stretching. He went to my room and I could hear him starting his shower. I grabbed my book and waited on him to come out. I planned on talking to him no matter how much I didn't want to. If the was one thing my babies did, they definitely made me grow up through the pettiness.

When Travis came out dry with his towel around his waist, I peeked over my book and smirked. I knew he was being petty but my stomach was too big for me to feel horny so I just rolled my eyes and went back to ready. I listen and didn't put my book down until I felt like he was fully dressed. We just looked at each other without speaking.

"This isn't easy for me either" he looked down as he spoke "I know---"

"No you don't" I shook my head "I'm not trying to be rude... but you don't know. You don't know how are it was to let go and love you... trust you. You don't know what it's like to mean nothing to anyone your whole life then find someone that makes you feel... perfect. You don't know what it feels like for the only person to ever give you that feeling to break you. I thought I knew hurt and being broken, but I didn't. Not until you hurt me Travis"

"But I'm hurting too Micah" he looked at me "And I'm  znot asking for sympathy or for you to feel bad. I just want you to know this all has broken me too. I never loved anyone the way I love you!"

"You don't hurt people you love Travis!"

"I thought you hurt me! And it was wrong to be so cold and to be a dick to you all this time, but I didn't know what to do or how to handle it"

"I want to say I understand... a part of me kind of does knowing everything you know, but I can't. I can't understand why you would do the things you did to me" I wiped the tears that fell "I honestly don't even want to think about it or deal with this right now. I do want us to be friends again for the babies... but that it"

He nodded "Okay"

I paused thinking if I should tell him what I know. A piece of me wanted him staying with Khari to be his karma for everything he did but I couldn't.

"Travis---"

"I'm ending it with Khari today" he looked at me "I just wanted to tell you in case things go crazy today. Carmen and Keith are coming to be with you while I deal with the mess I've made... I just didn't want you to think I as leaving because of our talk"

"Why you breaking up with her?"

"Honestly? I went back to what was comfortable. It was never supposed to be more than a rebound relationship... then everyone was pushing us closer together then she said she was pregnant. Next thing I know my mom is giving me her original engagement ring to give to Khari"