Girls Need Love

Chapter 27: Grief II

MICAH

~Sadness~

The days have been the slowest for me. I feel miserable while trying to hide the pain. I went day by day just finding work to do. I had hired dance instructors for the studio and Carmen hired another artist as well. Everyone was trying to get me to talk about it, but I was just ready to move on.

I sat in my office at the studio with my head down trying to block out thoughts of him... thoughts of us. This whole charity show case was his idea though so the minute I looked at the line up he came to mind. I shook my head as someone knocked at the door.

"Come in" I sighed

Raphael, Reagan, and Dave walked in. I rolled my eyes knowing somehow this conversation would go to how I'm feeling or Travis. I shook my head and waited for one of them to speak.

"Hey boo" Reagan went first sitting down "How you been feeling? What's her face said you didn't feel good"

"Rebecca" I laughed

"Yeah her" she laughed "But what's going on?"

"Just been feeling sick lately. Think I'm trying to get a cold or something"

"You gone be good for tomorrow?" Dave asked

"Yeah"

"Finished the line up"

"No" I sighed "Keep getting distracted"

"Yo ADHD ass" Ralph shook his head

"I'm telling"

"Shut up!"

"Pipe down kids" Reagan pointed at both of us

There was a pause before we all burst into laughter. It felt good to laugh with my friends again. I missed smiling and being happy... but it was hard because no matter how happy I'd get, minutes later I would think about Travis and the smile was gone.

"Aight let's be honest" Ralph noticed me "You pretending to be okay is fucking with all of us. We want to be here and support you but you shutting everybody out"

"I'm not trying to" I put my face in my hands "I'm just not trying to deal with that shit right now. I've cried and screamed and been sad. I don't want to feel that. I just want to move on and go back to being me"

"You can't force that shit Sunny" Dave stood up "I understand. I promise I do. But it's just like losing somebody in life. You go through grief when your mind and body is ready. If you sad, be sad. Just don't stop grinding"

I nodded my head before picking up the list of performers.

"I just need to work and stay busy. I don't need to be sad. Just help me work yall"

They all help me organize the line up and then we headed to lunch. I had to admit to them that it made it easier to keep my mind off of being sad being with them. Dave ended up getting a couple artist he knew to volunteer two or three songs. It was mostly artist trying to get their name out there. Chris got a couple of his friend which end up being Trey Songs and August Alsina. They all found my star struck face hilarious when Chris facetime me with them.

By the time the day was over I just started to feel better. I was going to sing a few songs that I've written and ones I just like with Ralph and the band, so I spent the night writing and releasing how I felt in the songs. I went to sleep and the sadness was gone. I finally was moving into the next

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~Anger~

I was getting ready for the show trying to shake the nerves I had. I was never really nervous but this was my baby. Carmen was going to be hosting with me, but I was performing too and I just felt like I needed a drink.