All Black Everything // Luke Hemmings

Chapter 53

The first thing Luke did when we got back to his flat was kiss me again. It was soft, yet passionate. We parted, his hands still resting on my hips, my arms around his neck.

"God, I've missed this." He said, biting his lip softly. "Every morning I woke up wishing you were with me."

"Why wasn't I?" I whispered, looking at him with sad eyes.

He waited for a moment before saying, "I was, and still am...a danger. I've fucked up your life, and I know you shouldn't be here...but god it feels so good that you are."

"You're not a danger." I whispered.

"I am." He replied.

"Then I'd rather be in danger than safe." I said.

"Are you sure?" He said back.

"As long as it means being with you, yes." I replied, kissing him again.

We made our way to the couch, and Luke put on soft music, and an old movie both of us loved. My head was against his chest, and his arm was lazily slung around me. I could feel him kiss the top of my head every once in a while, which made me smile.

The room was completely silent, which I guess was a good thing. Although there was no sound, the room was buzzing with unspoken words. All we wanted to do was apologize over and over again, and kiss each other, but some things are better left unsaid.

We fell asleep like this, and when I woke up, Luke was gone, and I was covered in a him blanket. I rubbed my eyes, and sat up.

"Luke?" I called, loud enough to hear through the house.

His head appeared through in the entryway of the kitchen, and he smiled.

"Hey babe. I'm making pizza, want any?" He asked.

It was then when I realized how little I had eaten the past month. I barely left my room. The only exceptions was a meal a day, if that. I couldn't believe how low i had let myself go.

"Yeah, that sounds great." I replied, and stood up and went into the kitchen.

Luke set the timer, and put the pizza in the oven before turning around to face me, leaning on the counter and crossing his arms.

"So....how are you?" He asked.

I was confused. "I'm...fine, why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He just shrugged. "Just wondering. Haven't seen you in a while, you know."

I gave him a look.

"Seriously. It's all good, I was just making sure you were doing alright." He reassured, and pulled me into his chest.

I sighed softly and he kissed the top of my head. "I love you." He whispered.

"You say that a lot." I replied.

"You don't." He replied, and I looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my eyes full of sorrow. I didn't know what he meant, because I said it all the time, but maybe he didn't think I meant it.

"Just....nothing." He said.

"No, if you have a problem tell me. What happened? Did I do something? I do love you, you know. I guess I just don't say it-" he cut me off.

"I get it, okay? You don't say it as much just because...you're you and that just isn't you. I just kind of want some reassurance every once in a while, you know." He said, looking at the ground.

"I do love you, really. I never stopped loving you. I couldn't. You know that, Luke. Why do you have doubts?" I replied.

"I don't know...sorry." He said.

I lifted his chin with my thumb, and stood on my tip toes to kiss him.

"Don't be. I love you." I whispered.

He smiled before turning back to the stove and resting his hands on the top.

"You uh...you haven't been eating, have you?" He said softly.

My eyes widened, and tears started to form at the the corners or my eyes.

"Um... I mean I've...I just-" I said before getting cut off.

"Please, just answer." He said, turning around.

I bit my bottom lip, and nodded, facing the ground.

"It wasn't intentional, I just...I just didn't really-" I said, being cut off again.

"It was because of me again" He replied.

"No! No, Luke it wasn't. I just want thinking." I said, laying a hand on his arm.

"Yes, it was. It's because of me, it all is. I'm such a fuck up. I shouldn't have put you through all of this." He said, gesturing to me.

"You're not that big of a fuck up." I said. "I mean, a little, but not that much. I still love you."

He smiled softly, wiping a tear from his eye. "Sorry." He whispered.

"Enough with that damn word. I've had enough of it." I whispered back, and kissed his cheek before turning around and walking back into the living room, smiling at him as I went. I sat back on the couch, turning up the music playing. The 1975's fallingforyou began.

I really am.