Shawn Mendes Imagines

Something About Myself

I feel like it shouldn't hurt this much. This girl was a short lived thing. I met her at a party of a mutual friend.

Her and I sorta hit off. By the time the night was over we were talking like we had known each other forever.

Before I left I made sure to get her number. And we talked everyday since.

Little did I know that day that she was gonna cause me so much pain later on.

I look at the pictures of her wondering what I did wrong. I thought everything was fine. I guess I was wrong.

The worst kind of pain is not heartbreak, it's not knowing what you did wrong to deserve it.

I've been sitting here thinking and trying to figure out what I did for her to stop talking to me. But I can't figure it out. Everything was fine when we said goodnight that night. Then I never heard from her again.

It's been a month and I'm still not over it.

I've gone through many phases. I've been in shock, I've pretended that it didn't affect me, and now I'm here.

Letting it all settle in. Realizing what it could all mean for me.

I could very well never speak to her again. And honestly I don't even want to think about what that would do to me. It could destroy me.

I've been through so many relationships, them all leaving me hopeless and broken. They left with me enough baggage and trust issues for 3 people.

And I thought this was gonna be different. I had faith and hope for once, and all for nothing. Because here I am again, lonely.

I turned out the light, setting my phone down, hoping to get some sleep.

-

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I picked it up without bothering to look at who was calling.

"Hey Shawn." My heart began pounding.

"Uh...yeah." I stuttered. "I know it's been a while, but I was wondering if we could meet up? I need to talk to you about something."

I nodded, forgetting she couldn't see me.

"Oh yeah, when do you want I meet?"

"Would today be okay? We could get some coffee at Starbucks or something. Sit and talk there?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine."

She laughed a little, nerves evident in her voice.

"Okay I'll see you then Shawn."

"Okay, bye Y/n. See you then."

-

I breathed in deeply before I walked into the coffee shop.

I looked around, fiddling with the bracelets on my wrist.

My eyes met hers. She have me a small smile, her eyes full of guilt.

I shook it off and went to the counter, ordering a small coffee. I stood there awkwardly until the barista called for my name.

She handed me my coffee, a signal for my heart to start pounding.

I took a deep breath and turned around, heading her way. I sat down in the booth across from her.

We both sat there silently, our coffees becoming suddenly very appealing.

I was about to say something when she cut me off.

"So here it is. I miss you like crazy. It's been so weird not talking to you. It felt so weird not seeing your name pop up on my screen everyday. Or not to hear your voice. Shawn I miss you so much." A mixture of hope and guilt filled her eyes.

I shook my head. "I don't understand. If you felt this way, why didn't you just tell me. You know how much I went through this last month wondering what I did wrong for you to stop talking to me the way you did."

She reached across the table, putting her hand on mine.

"I know, and I'm sorry I made you feel that way. But I told myself I would stop talking to you for a bit because I wanted to see what my feelings for you really were. I wanted to see if I really liked you or if it was all just apart of being attached."

She smiled nervously, "I know it sounds weird, but once it got to be a week I didn't know how to text you back. I felt like I had hurt you. I should have told you what I was doing. But I didn't want to rush things."

She paused and her demeanor changed, it became softer even.

"But I think it was worth it. Because I figured one thing out about myself."

I laughed a little, "What was it?"

She smiled, "I've never liked anyone more than I like you."

-

A/N: Lol it seems like I'm always apologizing for how long these take sometimes, but this one truly took forever. I had been sick pretty much all week and I needed a couple days to get my energy back.

I'm also sorry that this kinda sucks.

I love you guys so much! ❤️