His Name Is Mugen

Why Did It Feel So Good

I made it through most of the evening without hurling my guts out. Time was turning rather slow. Every moment dragged out longer than it needed to. I wished the earth would swallowed me whole.

Tyson led me around introducing me to his friends. I didn't say much, only smiled and nodded my head. He didn't find fault in that. It showed I was submissive and obedient to him. The whole entire time I felt someone's eyes on me. I just knew it was Mr. Rogers.

Tyson finally let me go socialize with other people though he knew the only person I'd talk to was Selena. I had other plans though. For the entire night I kept silent about it but I just couldn't do this anymore. I needed to escape. Selena would have to understand.

I maneuvered my way through the crowd of people to the backstairs. I climbed all 50 flights on my bare feet not even once taking a break. I needed to get this done before Tyson found me. I got to the rooftop. It was a lot bigger than I imagined and the air was cooler than I expected. The breeze was sweet and kissed my face. Summer was here. Shame I couldn't enjoy.

I didn't dwelled on my sadness for too long. I had made up my mind sometime ago. I just kept putting it off until now. Selena would understand and so would Simran. They had to. I tossed my heels to the side and walked to the ledge.

I pulled myself up with ease. The city looked pretty from afar. Everything always did. It's not until you see it from up close that you finally see it for what it really is and how ugly it's become. I looked down. It was long journey from here to the sidewalk but for me it'd be over in a flash.

This was it. I made my decision. I was doing it. This is goodbye. I closed my eyes. On the count of 5 I would let myself drop and the wind carry me away.

1.

I'm ready.

2.

This is for the best.

3.

I love you Simran. Thank you so much Selena.

4.

Someone cleared their throat. Shit, Tyson has already found me.

5.

I feel my body being pulled off the ledge and dropped on the ground. What a fucking fail. I don't say anything, I just kept my eyes on the Calvin Clein shoes in front of me.

Tyson wasn't wearing Calvin Clein.

I slowly rose head up to look at the stranger who just saved and ruined my life at the same time. My eyes are met with a seemingly scowling face. He's angry. Why?

"What do you think you're doing?" He snapped at me.

"Um, trying to die?" I asked more than stated.

"Clearly." He sneered at me. He was pissed. Did my attempted suicide anger him? He doesn't even know me. Why does he care?

It was kind of dark out, the only light came from the moon, the hotel's sign, and a few city lights. Still, I could just barely make out his silhouette. He was tall, handsome, his hands were in his pocket, and he was looking down on me like I'm not worth the ground he steps on.

"Um-I um-I." I stammered. I felt nervous and guilty all of a sudden and I don't know why. It's not like I didn't anything wrong. Did I?

"Don't misunderstand me. I don't give a fuck if you die. Jump infront of a bus for all the fuck I don't care." He glared down at me. "But I just ate a salad and I don't want to see your death take place right after so either you wait an hour or two or go die somewhere else."

Huh?

I'm speechless. I don't know what to say. Is there anything I could say? I doubt it. I slowly rose to my feet.

Maybe he's crazy. Yes, insanely crazy. Just mind your business and try again.

I turned away from him because it's best I ignore him. I reached for the ledge but the stranger gripped my wrist. Flashes of Tyson hitting me broke into my mind and my first instinct was to snatch my wrist away and drop to the floor in tears. I buried my face in my knees and rocked back and forth waiting for him to hit me.

He never did.

I felt him kneel in front of me but I didn't want him to look at me. I was embarrassed and afraid. He didn't touch me, that I'm grateful for.

"Care to explain to me why you're trying to die?" His voice was softer than before.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." I snapped harsher than I meant to.

"I'm making it my business." He sounded irritated now.

"I'm going to have to respectfully decline."

"Oh but I insist."

"Fuck off."

"You know, for someone who seems to have so much confidence in sassing me, I'm having trouble comprehending why you're still hiding behind your knees." He had a point there. I didn't know this guy but the aura around him demanded respect and commanded authority. If he's here than that means he has much influence in the business world and could have my body dumped in the Mississippi river at the snap of a finger.

Here I am mouthing off to him and he has made no move to attack me. Is this a sign? Perhaps he's not as vile and wretched as the others.

No, no, they're all the same. Don't trust him.

Fear was taking over me. I wanted to jump over the ledge but he'd stop me. I could try to run but where would I go? I hugged my knees tighter. My mind, heart, and gut were telling me 3 different things. I was confused. If he was Tyson's guest then surely he knew who I was. Why wasnt he calling him?

He could be calling him right now!

Panic shot through and I abruptly brought my head up. As soon as I did, our eyes met. It was dark outside but it was like the sun was shining on his radiant face. I saw all of him and I'm sure he saw all of me.

I could no longer breathe.

His eyes were blue like the ocean and they were sparking up. Their waves dragged me from the safety of my own shore and drowned me in his magnificence. The electric pulse between us revived parts of me that I had buried long ago.

Am I seeing stars right now?

He watched me closely. From the way my chest rose to the way my eyes darted around looking for an escape route. He studied me, took in all of me like I was a maze he could trace just by looking. His eyes engulfed me, chained me down and ravished me. Built me up to heaven and broke me down to his feet. I was a broken board sailing across his stormy seas with not a damn life jacket in sight, destined to crash. I was helpless against him.

But why did it feel so good.