His Name Is Mugen

Hello To You Too

"You're so selfish. How could you even think of doing that? Why can't you be more like your sister? You are such a disappointment." My mother had been yelling at me for the past half hour trying to convince me to go back to Tyson.

Tyson, my ex-fiancé.

It had been 2 weeks since that day. The day I called off our engagement. The day I threw the ring in his face and marched out of the restaurant with what was left of my dignity. The day my parents cursed and forsaken me.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you." Was all I could bring myself to say. I was truly sorry that I couldn't be submissive like Tyson had wanted, or enthusiastic and naive like Simran. I'm sorry that I cared more about my wellbeing than my family's.

"You should be!" My mother screeched into the phone. I held it away from my ear but her loud voice had my ears ringing. "Thankfully he's willing to give you another chance if you come back and apologize."

I rolled my eyes. "I will not be apologizing nor will I be coming back." I spoke calmly.

"What?! Why are you insisting on being so selfish? Do you not care about your family?!" My mother was seething but I didn't care.

"I think you should be directing those questions to the person who got us into this mess." This wasn't my fault no matter how much my parents tried to convince me and themselves. This was their problem and I would no longer allow myself to deal with it.

My mother began ranting on and on about how I never cared about her or my dad and sister. How I only look out for myself and would throw them under the bus if I needed too. I tuned her out for the rest of it and stared outside my bedroom's window. It was pouring down outside. The raindrops pounded against the window with such vengeance. If this was God's way of saying he was angry, then I understood.

I was angry too.

"All you had to do was marry the man and make a better life for yourself and family but no. All you can think about is yourself." My mother's breath was heavy. All this yelling was wearing her out.

"You make it sound so simple." I was becoming consumed by the sound of the rain. It's violent pounds reflected the anger and resentment I acquired over the years against my parents. It was bringing a sudden rage to my surface and I wasn't sure if I could control it.

"It is actually. Can't you see? You nor I or your father would have to work again. Everything would be paid for. We could wake up in Dubai and be in Cancun by lunch! All you have to do is sign a damn marriage certificate!"

I exhaled deeply. "If it's so simple then why don't you marry him. Better yet, why don't you go pimp yourself out to whoever. Or maybe you could strip your way into some rich guy's bedroom. By the way your students whistle at you, you still got it so getting in bed with one should be easy enough."

She went silent like I expected her too. Telling someone else to sacrifice their wellbeing and happiness for someone else is all fun and games until the same is asked of you.

The Rain was picking up. Every drop sounded like a blow after a blow. My heartbeat sped up to match the rhythm of its roar.

"How dare you speak to me this way?!" My mom gasped as if I suggested the world's most horriblest thing to do.

"Would that be all?"

"You fucking disrespectful ass bitch, after all I did for you!" A sound of thunder boomed through the city at the same time that I hopped to my feet in anger.

"What have you fucking done for me besides pimp me out like I'm some fucking whore. Instead of calling me trying to guilt me into doing what you're too scared to do, why don't you do it your-fucking-self. I'm so sick on you." I was angry but even more so sad. I wanted my mother to comfort me, to tell me I didn't have to go through with it and we'd find another way to pay off the debt.

She didn't. Instead she was silent. Like I expected her to be.

"Will that be all?" I counted to 3 and slowed my breathing.

"Don't call home until you're ready to apologize." She muttered.

"I have no home." I hung up the phone.

______________

I stared blankly at the Spanish telenovela playing on the screen. I didn't speak the language but judging from the main heroine extended use of "hijo de puta" and her attacking her boyfriend, I assumed he was cheating on her.

I heard the sound of the front door opening signifying that my best friend and current roommate, Selena, had just entered the house. I turned around on the sofa to see her hanging up her coat and umbrella.

"You're late. Where's the food?"

"Well hello to you too." She grumbled. "The food is here fatty." She held up the bag that had our chinese food in it.

"Well bring it over because I'm starving." I cleaned off the coffee table in front of me. Selena dumped the food on the table and plopped down beside me.

"Dig in, bitch." She wasted no time in serving herself. She didn't have to tell me twice. Talking with my mom worked up a mean appetite and I was ready to eat my body weight in food.

"How'd it go with your mom by the way?" Selena slurped up some noodles. She had left to pick up the food when my mom called me so she knew how heated and draining that conversation could of been.

"The usual." I replied, not wanting to talk about it.

"You're not go-."

"Not a fucking chance." I told her. No way in hell am I going back.

"Good. Because you deserve so much better." Selena nodded in content. We turned our attention back to the telenovela and ate in comfortable silence. Only the sound of the tv could be heard.

"Can you believe this guy?" Selena scoffed at the guy in the telenovela. "He's such a douche bag oh my God. Lola deserves so much better than him! Hijo De puta! How could you do that to the woman who loves you. Egoísta estúpido!" She threw napkin at the tv.

I said nothing as I watched "Lola" chased after the hijo de puta with a knife.

"Men are trash. Pure and utter trash! Do you hear what he's saying Ras? Increíble!" The mexican spitfire was getting work up over a dumb tv show that depicted a harsh reality.

"You know I don't speak the tacobell menu, Sel. That's why I have you." I laughed as she swiped her nose at the screen.

"Outta pocket and unnecessary." She nudged me with a smile.

"But factual and inevitable." I rested my head on her shoulder with a smile of my own.