Project: Socialize (Chapters 198-Continued) [Hiatus]

202. Getting Used to Life

Life as a girl went on...quite normally if that's what you call it. I'm actually quite surprised how accustomed to this identity I am, like every morning that I wake up, the less I feel weirded out by the fact that I am now in a girl's body. I know there's the whole getting adapted and used to it part, but to be fair, suddenly switching genders shouldn't be something so easily acclimated, and yet, here I am.

Lucky for me, I still retain sudden emotional flare-ups that could prove my identity as a male. For example, I still get flustered whenever I'm engaged in close physical contact with the others, most notably with Irina since she's the type that would be intimate with her good friends as a way of showing her friendly affection. Then there's also the issue about my sexuality. It looks like that I am still attracted to girls with this body, which I confirmed by experimenting with adult videos, but here's the thing...for some reason, even though mentally I'm repulsive of it, this body has an attraction towards males. That's right. This body, if I am correct, is...bisexual. My guess is that if I was naturally born a girl, I would be attracted to boys. However, since I am transformed into a girl, I retained the sexual attraction I have as a heterosexual male.

All I am hoping for is that once I turn back, I would not have that attraction to guys, which I believe I'll be fine since I still have a repulsive feeling about the idea of me being attracted to guys. It's just weird to me. Like in my opinion, girls just appear to be way more pure than boys. Like you can picture two girls sleeping together in the same bed, and you wouldn't think that there's anything wrong with it. Even if they were sleeping in their lingerie, you wouldn't bat an eye. But if it were two boys, I would feel repulsed, feel a certain type of disgust. That's the way it is for me, and...I guess that's the foundation for my actual sexuality. Like even though this body is bisexual, since I'm the one controlling it, when given the choice, I would go with the female as it just makes the more sense to me.

Maybe I'm just overthinking things. After all, I will probably get my body back after a few weeks. Therefore, all this worrying is probably unwarranted. It's not like in this month that I am female, I would encounter situations where I would need to engage in anything sexual.

Oh and one thing that I forgot to mention and something that I've only recently found out is that in this timeline, nothing ever occurred between Loriana and I. Since Luna's disease was never a real thing to worry about, I...well...never needed to go that far. I guess this means that my relationship with Loriana reverted to that from before, but I still feel closer to her than before, mostly because I know how far she would go to make me happy.

The first week of school went by, and nothing much happened during those first few days. I woke up in the morning like always, but in a body of the opposite gender and in a different room as my old one. Then, I would eat breakfast, commute to school, and then spend the whole day being bored, and finally head to the club room. There, everybody would show up, and we would just sit around, talk, and waste the day away.

Luna's and Erith's attendance weren't a hundred percent, but they did show up most days. And when they didn't, they would always notify us. When they did though, I ended up getting to know Erith a bit more than before. Like I've noticed before, she's extremely protective for Luna, which is the motive for her to join the club. However, she seems to like it here and has really become close with Irina. That I attribute partly to Irina's exceptional character as well as the fact that Erith is really not that bad of a person. She might sometimes be too...playful and too much of a tease, but she has a kind heart. I believe that is the reason why she's able to mix so well with Irina.

As for Erith's relationship with the others, even though Muria isn't the best at interacting with her on a one-on-one basis, she tolerates Erith. That is probably because Muria also knows that Erith isn't that bad of a person and because Erith has now also become one of Irina's friends. As for Noah, well...Noah's just Noah. No matter if Erith is present or not, he still acts the same. Every day, he would be that carefree self that he is, and I can't blame him for that. If I know that I'm an angel, I would probably do that as well since there's nothing for me to worry about. As for Zaksus, he appears to be a bit tenser the first few days Erith was present, but he gradually relaxed. Then there's Loyd, who doesn't appear to mind Erith's presence at all. In fact, I'm actually not that focused on what his reaction to Erith was, but rather, I'm more focused on his reaction towards me. Sometimes, when I would glance across the room, I would catch him looking in my direction. Each time, he would look away in a natural and smooth manner, but I'm sure that many times makes it not a coincidence anymore.

I don't know what to do with Loyd just at the moment, but I'll probably avoid a confrontation until I can be turned back into a guy. It's not like Loyd's not attractive or anything. In fact, if you're talking about physical appearance, all three boys in the club ranks pretty high. It's also not about personality, as Loyd is a nice guy that cares about others. It's just that...I'm a guy in a girl's body that's slowly becoming accustomed to being a girl, yet I'm not entirely a girl. That means that the idea of me dating him is repulsive to me. Another reason why I hope to avoid him is to prevent this harmonious relationship that everyone had already established to fade away. I don't want it to be because of me rejecting him that makes everything worse for everyone else.

The first weekend as a girl came along, and with this free time in which I am not under any social obligations, I decided that today was the day that I will replenish all the inventory that I would need as a girl. First off, there's the makeup. Normal girls my age would have at least something in their dresser table, which I currently have nothing on. Then, there's a need for more outfits. Since I already have the first-hand experience how expensive clothing was, I converted 1000 SP into Vil just in case since I now have a plethora of SP stored up. This conversion netted me 100000 Vil, which is a lot of money and I'm not sure how it'll bypass the Wages Department, but when I inquired Emilia about the issue (I asked Emilia because I think she'll be more honest about the issue than Noah), she said for me to not worry about it and that nothing would happen to me for suddenly having this money added to my virtual wallet.

Come to think of it, if 1 SP can net me 100 Vil, and I now have 519075 SP after converting 1000 SP into Vil, then that means I can still get myself 51907500 Vil. That...that is a lot of money. It's enough money that I don't have to work for the rest of my life. But...I'm still not ready to use it all. There's always the possibility for a bullshit mission to pop up like the earlier days when I first got the app. What if I fail the mission and allow my SP to go below zero? A horrible punishment will await me then. Therefore, even though recently there hasn't been many missions happening, I must still be readying myself constantly, just in case. I rather be alive than dead.

After getting dressed in the garment that I purchased while out shopping with the others that one day during the week, I walked over to Lumina Station and rode the elevated rail to Nocsinis . From there, I switched to the metro which I rode directly to the mall. The reason why I chose to stick with this mall was because...it's the only place I'm familiar with at the moment. And apparantly, it has a very high rating online among young woman for its huge selection and style. Therefore, I was thinking that there's a lower chance of things going wrong for me there than anywhere else in the city.

Once the train had arrived at the stop at the mall, I exited the train and emerged from the metro like before. Then came the short walk to the mall through the busy Nocsinis streets. It was a nice day today, so there's plenty of people that are out and about right now, either with a group heading somewhere or alone and heading somewhere. You rarely see people idling about.

"Hey there, miss," I hear someone whistle at me. "You wanna go out for a drink?"

Looking to my right, I saw a young man, probably in his early twenties, approached me with his hands in his pockets. On his face, there was a pretty smug and confident smile. Immediately, I could sense that his intent was somewhat malicious.

"It'll be fun," another boy stopped me by standing directly before me.

"Come on," a third blocked my left. "We'll pay for your bill."

"I uh..." I took a step back, intimidated and frightened by the sudden appearance of these three men. I know well that I am unable to outmatch them in both strength and speed. Even though we are in public, there's just so little that I can do since none of them has actually committed a crime yet.

"Come on," they each took a step closer to me, causing me to back up. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that I'm slowly being baited into an alleyway.

This is bad...

"It's gonna be fun," they said once again. On their faces were now lustful smiles as they think that their plan is succeeding.

"You'll feel really good," the first guy said. "Especially after you take some of these."

Slowly, he started pulling his hand out of his pockets, and I caught a glimpse of the white pills that he was holding.

Someone, help! I cried to myself in my mind.

"There you are!" a familiar voice called out.

Author's Note:

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