𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ☾︎ taekook

C H P - 46

And just like that, their lips touched for the first time.

----

Jungkook lingered for only a second, allowing himself to take in the softness of his idol's lips and the feel of his breath against his skin. He wanted to stay where he was so he could take in so, so much more, but he knew he had to pull away.

The warmth surging up and down his spine left him lightheaded and shaky. He had to say something to explain himself, something to explain what he had been feeling and why his heart was beating so much quicker than it should have been, but... "I-I..." He wasn't quite sure of the emotion held within Taehyung's irises, and that alone left him terrified. He messed up again, didn't he? He had to explain, he had to explain, he had to explain...! "I... I love you." He gasped and quickly looked away, dread building up in his chest. He hadn't meant to say that. "Uhm, I, well..."

"No."

The younger's head snapped back up in Taehyung's direction. It felt as if the heart that was always racing had stopped beating completely. "N-no?" And that was when he noticed that the reason he couldn't identify the emotions held within his friend's eyes was because there were none at all. They were blank, as was the rest of his face. His lips were set in a straight line, and his eyebrows had neither risen nor fallen. Like a doll, his face was blank.

Taehyung slowly looked down to his lap.

And that was when Jungkook understood.

"Oh..."

The sky suddenly seemed to be not quite as bright.

"I'm sorry."

He felt a nagging pain in his throat and a burning sensation in his eyes.

"Forget it."

He forced a teary-eyed smile before pushing himself up off the ground. He instantly turned away from Taehyung, from their spot, from their safe place, from their happy ending. He had ruined what was between them entirely, just because of his own selfish desires. He had no right to stay any longer, no right at all.

Every tear he had managed to hold back throughout the years of his life fought each other for a place in his pain-filled eyes. One by one, tear by tear, regret by regret, they slid down his cheeks, dripping from his chin. They stole the light that was once in his eyes, leaving them dark; they had stolen his hopes just as they had stolen the stars.

It was his fault, it was all his fault; he knew that, yet he couldn't help but think...

I thought you wanted us to have a happy ending.

----

Jungkook tiredly stumbled into his house, dragging his feet with each step he took. He had been a crying mess the whole drive home, even the driver had asked him if he was alright. He had meant to keep it all in again, just as he had always wanted to teach himself to, but the pain he felt just by remembering the look in Taehyung's eyes was unlike any other he had felt before. Even if he had managed to perfect the art of not feeling emotions, he still wouldn't have been able to keep from aching in that moment.

He just wanted to sleep.

Sleep was his only escape.

He hurried up to his room, where he discarded Taehyung's sweater and swapped it out for a t-shirt of his own. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't. He just needed sleep.

So without another thought, he tucked himself into his bed and closed his eyes.

He wanted to forget just for a little while.