100

Misah

"Selena." Dean warned her.

"What! Tell me I'm not wrong! Tell me that when Akari confessed that she had lightning and water abilities that you didn't think of Misah!" Selena challenged. "Tell me you weren't happy with Akari's results when you heard her say it! And when she shared she had fire abilities as well, you were probably thrilled, however you couldn't even tell her how proud you are of her, because all you could think about was Misah!"

Dean became mad and glared at Selena because she was telling the truth. His mind did wander to think about Misah when Akari told them her abilities were lightning and water. When Misah told him, he was so happy. He took Misah in his arms and spun her around as they laughed together.

Was he happy that his new apprentice has three abilities, of course he was, but he was too deep into his memories with Misah, that he didn't have enough time to react to the good news. His quiet apprentice who only showed a serious and mature side to everyone, was also very sensitive woman.

"You... go comfort her!" Selena ranted.

Dean's anger snapped and his fist came down on the table. The table broke in half as the dishes fell on top of one another, breaking several plates.

"Don't you think you've done enough today?" Selena said sternly. "Akari's not Misah! Misah died a long time ago. You had 180 years to sort through your shit. If you can't get over it, you shouldn't have accepted another apprentice! Better yet, you should find someone else to become her teacher. And all of this..."

Selena pointed to the broken mess he made. "You clean it up!"

Selena walked out of the room with Green quickly following her. He didn't even look at Dean as he walked out of the room.

Dean growled in frustration before flicking his wrist. The mess he made was quickly cleaned up and the broken table was removed. Dean sat in the dark for a long time before he went into the library. He sat down at his desk and poured himself some wine. When he drank five glasses of wine, did he notice her sitting at her table reading a book. His blurry eyes stared at his new apprentice and his mind raced to all the times she made him smile. All the times she made him happy. All the times she made him realize how brilliant and talented she was. Akari had woken him up from a slumber and he felt as if he wronged her.

Dean got up and made his way towards her. He pulled out the chair next to Akari and leaned into her. His breath reeked of wine as he spoke.

"Are you disappointed in me?" Dean asked.

Silence met his question.

"I'm disappointed in myself." Dean admitted. "I'm sorry if I made you sad. I didn't mean to. I'm quite proud of you, you know. You're the most talented person I know. One of the strongest mage I know."

When silence met him again, his heart began to be itchy and uncomfortable. Dean sighed heavily before he told her the truth.

"I'm actually really happy for you that you have three abilities. Earlier I... I was lost in my memories and what you saw was not how I feel about you."

"I'm fine. You can stop explaining to me, now." Akari said as she flipped to the next page. Her walls were up again. She was cold and indifferent. Her unrequited love will be just that. She would no longer look at Dean the same way and place her hope and dreams with him. She would only work towards being a strong mage.

Silence surrounded them once more and for the first time ever in all his life, the silence was bothering him.

"Let me explain."

"You don't have to. I'm fine."

"Akari..." Dean shouted. "Just listen!"

Dean flicked his hand and the book in her hand went back to its original spot on the shelf. He grabbed her chair and turned it towards him, so she would face him when he spoke.

"Now listen well, because I will only say this once." Dean warned her as he became angry. Never in his life had he had to explain his past to anyone. "Before you... before you were born... a long time ago... I had an apprentice. My very first apprentice. Her name was Misah. You remind me of her sometimes."

"I'm not her!" Akari told him.

"I know! You're the complete opposite of her! But there are times when you remind me of her. And I can't help and think about her." Dean said as he drank the rest of his wine. "And when I do, I become angry and sad. I become disappointed in myself, because I always think to myself that I could have saved her."

"How did she die?"

"She... she killed herself..."

"Why?"

"Because of love."

"Because she loved you? Not as a student loves a teacher, but as a woman loves a man?"

His silence answered her question.

"And did you love her back?" Akari asked him. She could feel her heart shatter into pieces. Why did she have such bad luck with men? Why did she have such bad eyes for choosing men?

"I don't know." Dean confessed. "I think it was the attention she gave me that I liked. The thrill of her chasing after me. She tried to convince me for 10 years, when I finally agreed. We spent 8 years together as a couple and I realized that I didn't love her... not the way she loved me... not the way she wanted me to love her back.  I didn't want to waste any of our time together anymore so I broke up with her. She was devastated. I spent 2 years convincing her to move on. She kept telling me that she would kill herself, if I didn't love her or be with her. Then one day... after two years.. she did exactly what she said."

Silence met his confession as he looked at Akari. A wooden mask had covered her features as she looked at him.

"You're really terrible at comforting people." Dean told her.

Silence met him again and he could feel a wall between them. It grew and grew, widening between them, making it hard to grasp on to her. To reach her. His heart began to worry. Did he break her trust in him?

"It's been 180 years since she died. You're my first apprentice since Misah." Dean confessed. "I made mistakes while being your Teacher and I'm sorry. You deserve better. I'll be better. I promise.... just... just don't fall in love with me."

Akari's soulless eyes met his worried cyan eyes and it made his heart stuffy.

"Don't worry. I won't. I would never kill myself because of love." Akari told him as she stood up. "Life is too precious and too long to be despairing over what could have been and what never will be."

Akari made her way towards the door and never looked back once. Dean watched as the 18 year old girl became a woman before his eyes.