Salvation- Part 1

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There wasn't a moment in time when you weren't asking yourself one of 6 questions: Why was this happening to you? Why Sam? Why could you move things with your mind? What did this mean for your mom? How does Bobby fit into all of this? What is the reason you can do what you can do?

Why. That was always the burning question and you didn't have any answers to any of them. You still were pissed at John for not tell you that your father was alive and that it was Bobby. Did he not want you? Did he hate you? Was he ashamed of you? Did he hate your mom? Is that why he didn't come forth after she died?

You not only felt betrayed, you also felt alone because you could have been healing with a family member over your mom's death but he didn't even come up to the plate and be a man. You so wanted for things to be okay with you and him but you didn't see that happening anytime soon. You wanted things to be okay with John and you but again, you didn't see that happening anytime soon.

John, of all people, should have known how hard it was for you to be alone. Sam and Dean, yeah, their mother died but they had John and they had their family. Who did you have? Growing up, you always felt like an outsider with the Winchesters despite how many times they told you otherwise.

Yes, you loved them with all your heart and your love for John wasn't going away. You just wished things would have been different. Maybe your life would have been different or maybe it would stay the same but you would never know now.

Even with all these thoughts running through your head, you still had a job to do and you haven't rested along with the Winchesters. Things were getting heated because you couldn't find the damn demon.

Dean was pacing, Sam was leaning on the counter and John was sitting at a desk that was covered in papers regarding the demon. The whole damn motel room was covered in information on the yellow-eyed demon.

Weather charts, hieroglyphics, pictures, newspaper articles, written notes, a shelf of books and many more. You didn't know what most of this stuff had to do with the demon but John did.

"So, this is everything I know and gathered on the demon. All our lives, we've been searching and nothing has come up until a year ago. I don't know why it's suddenly showing itself but it is and I have its trail." John said after a long moment of silence.

"That's why you took off." You said, sitting on one of the beds with your legs crossed underneath you.

"Yeah, that's right. The demon must have come out of hiding, or hibernation."

"Alright, so what's this trail you found?" Dean asked.

"It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, into California. It's all the same with the houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us." John rubbed his beard in thought.

"Families with infants?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Yeah, the night of the kid's six-month birthday," John confirmed.

"I was six months old that night?"

"Exactly."

"So, basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So, Mom and Jessica's death is all because of me?" Sam asked, getting emotional.

"Sam, don't think like that. You know that's not true." You said in a gentle tone.

"Yeah, Sam, we don't know that." Dean tried to comfort his brother.

"Oh, really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure, Dean." Sam was getting angry.

"For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault," Dean said, frustrated at his brother. Sam often brought this up and you and Dean constantly told him otherwise.

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