Chapter 43

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Uriah received looks from everyone that passed. He sat in the silent hallway of the hospital, next to Tobias. He was covered in blood still, but he did not care to wash off. Nita stood next to the bench the two boys sat on, her head hanging. Tears escape his eyes again, and sobs rack his body.

"I let her go," He says out loud. Tobias looks over at him, his eyes filled with anger and pain, "I could have saved her."

"She isn't dead," Christina says flatly as she approaches them. She had bags under her eyes, and she slouched as she walked.

"You know she didn't want to kill him," Nita says to Christina.

"But she still did," Christina shrugs.

A nurse approaches them, staring at them all, "You boys are scaring the other guests. I know the police already talked to you, so I know you aren't murderers. You should both go home and get washed up."

She does not leave, but stands aside, waiting for Uriah and Tobias to leave. Tobias stands and storms off, Nita running after him. Uriah sits for a few more moments, but he is able to drag himself to his feet and walk down the hallway.

He arrived him alone. He knew Nita followed him out of the hospital, but he lost her quickly. His house was empty when he arrived; Tobias had not seen Marcus, and his mother had disappeared also. Police questioning was what he assumed, but he was not sure how involved Marcus was in Jeanine's experiments.

Not matter how hard he scrubbed his hands, it seemed as if her blood was never going to come off. The water turned pink before him, eventually becoming clear again. Tobias's mind was empty, his pain shoved deep down inside of him.

He left the bathroom in only a towel, but as he walked toward his room, he ran into Nita. She jumps back slightly, and frowns, "Why did you run off?"

"The nurse told me to leave," He shrugs.

"Stop acting like you're too big and bad to have feelings," Nita says. Her eyes were filled with pain, and she looked as if she was going to cry, "Stop pretending that you don't care!"

"Of course I care!" Tobias exclaims. He takes a step toward her quickly, and she backs into the wall, "I fucking care! I watched Tris bleed out in front of me and I didn't do anything!"

They were so close that they were almost touching, and Nita looks up at him, and speaks quietly, "I don't know if she's going to make it."

Tobias steps back, his shoulders becoming less tense, and he leans against the wall, fighting back the urge to scream, "I can't lose her."

He glances down at his hands, unable to get the image of them being soaked in blood out of his head.

"It's gone," Nita frowns, "She needs you. Hell, I need you."

Unable to hide it anymore, Tobias lets his wall come crashing down. His eyes fill, and he is unable to stop the tears from escaping. Nita wraps her arms around him, and he is taken back. Whether he did not care or he could not control himself, he hugs her back.

His entire life, Tobias was forced to bottle up his emotions and hide them. If he ever showed weakness, it was exploited. He had been taken advantage of, hurt, and abused too many times, and he learned how to hide it all. Tris brought out what he was afraid of, and the thought of losing her made him break.

Tobias pulls away from Nita, suddenly filled with rage. He punches the wall, leaving a hole behind, and Nita steps away from him.

"I have to get clothes," He frowns and stomps away.

Often, Tobias used his head. He thought things through and considered he consequences to his actions. But occasionally, when someone or something would bring out his emotions, his heart would take over.

He was not one who hid his emotions because he was scared of losing his masculinity. He was scared of what people would do to him if he opened up.

"Hey, Zeke... We haven't talked in a few days, I'm sorry about that," Uriah says into the phone. His voice quivered as he spoke, "Call me as soon as you can. Things aren't good. It's Tris. Please. Just call me."

Uriah sits back on the uncomfortable chair in the lobby. They had moved him away from Tris's room, as he kept trying to shove his way in and he continued to yell at the nurses and doctors. While waiting, he had taken Christina to be checked on; She was acting extremely odd. He knew about Will, but something seemed incredibly off.

Now he sat alone. He had no idea where Tobias and Nita had gone, or when they would be back. The thought was insane, and he knew so, but he could not help but wonder what the two were doing together.

His head snaps up as Tobias and Nita enter his view. Nita walked behind him slightly, her head down, and he had the same emotionless expression that Uriah had known for so long. As he got closer, Uriah could see bags under his eyes, which looked red and droopy.

"They kicked me out," Uriah frowns. Tobias does not look at him as he sits next to him. Nita stands awkwardly off to the side, also staying quiet. Uriah sighs and blurts out, "What were you two doing? I swear to God if you-"

"What the fuck?" Tobias scoffs, "Is that what you think of me? I went home to shower, she followed. Fuck off, Uriah."

"I was making sure he didn't do anything stupid," Nita frowns. The three sit in silence, and Uriah jumps slightly when his phone rings. He walks away without a word to the other two.

"Hey," Zeke says as Uriah answers the phone, "What happened? You sounded horrible in the message you left me. Is everything okay?"

Silence filled the room. Nita convinced the nurses to let Tobias stay. She insisted he was family. Now he sat alone, by the side of the bed where Tris laid. She had been out of surgery for a few hours, but her vitals were weak. Tobias was not truly listening when they explained what was happening to her. She was on the edge between life and death, and that thought would not leave his mind.

Sleep was not an option. He sat next to her, unable to even think about dozing off. Her aunt and uncle had gone home for the night, and eventually Nita decided it was the best option to go home and get some sleep. Caleb was nowhere to be found, and Tobias was not sure if he even knew what happened to his sister, or if he cared.

He knew nothing of what happened to Matthew and David, and all of their conspirators. His mother had gone silent, and he had not heard of or seen his father.

It was just him, sitting next to his dying girlfriend, alone in the hospital. The soft beeps of the machines, which he had been blocking out, snapped him out of his daze, and he rubs his eyes, which had suddenly become heavy with sleep. Tobias leans forward in his chair and rests his arms on the edge of her bed. He felt empty, alone. He had taken her for granted since he left for college, not taking the time to talk to her or find out what she had been up to. He ignored her, whether he was too tired to answer the phone or Zeke had dragged him to a party. This was payback for his carelessness; He may never get the chance to talk to her again.

Maybe he was getting what he deserved, or at least he thought so. Pain was inescapable for him, and it had been that way his entire life. Tobias did not want to blame himself, or make the situation about himself, though. He was on edge, lashing out at anyone and everyone, all of who did not deserve it. Nita, then Uriah, and a few nurses in between.

"You should go home," Nita says, and Tobias turns to see her by the door, "It's really late."

"Go home to Marcus? Or even better, to an empty house?" Tobias scoffs, "No thanks."

"Come with me then," Nita sighs, and when she sees the frown on Tobias's face, she continues, "Not like that. Stay in her room. Maybe you'll feel better."

"I won't feel better until I know that she's going to live," Tobias says harshly. Nita crosses her arms and leans against the wall, frowning at him.

"You don't intimidate me," She says, "Stop acting like this."

Tobias stands quickly, about to yell, but he stops, "Fine. Let's go."

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