The Desperate Kingdom of Love**COMPLETE**

CHAPTER 39 - TOO MANY GOODBYE'S

Zoya sat on the chair in the shower cabinet, and she let the hot water run over her. She really did feel that hot water was like her own personal therapy, she loved how it calmed her nerves.

Ofcourse,due to her condition with her leg, she couldn't really stand and enjoy a long shower,and honestly this idea of sitting under a shower was really good.She didn't really have much choice, she had to enjoy it no matter what.

She was glad that she had let Khushi get ready first, so that she could take her time, and take her time she would,for she had a lot to process, a lot to think.A lot had happened over the last ten days.Time had just flown by, and she was glad, she didn't want it to crawl like a snail anyway.

Six days ago, her marriage had been annulled.She felt shivers go through her as she recalled the intensity of Asad's gaze on her as she signed the last of the annulment formalities, in front of the judge.She had signed them first this time around.His pained face, his anguished eyes, that still found a way of boring into her soul, came back revolving in front of her eyes.Ofcourse, it took every ounce of her strength to sign the papers with a straight face, without a tear in her eye, and she was glad she had done so, without meeting his eyes, because she knew, if she would have looked into them,she would have given herself away.

Three days ago, Khushi came home from the hospital,and although the plan was initially to leave Barkat as soon as Khushi was safely back home, she had stayed back, only on Khushi's request, for three more days,because Khushi insisted that she wanted to spend time with her, as much as she could, before she went away,so she would visit Shantivan in the evenings, spend time with her family, but return to Barkat for the night.But she also had agreed to Khushi, because that treacherous heart of her's found it as an excuse to store in a few more memories of Asad.Although these memories were mostly pained ones, of anguished exchange of glances, of painful silences,because even though Asad had tried to talk to her while she was alone, she made it a point to have no communication with him. Everytime he had come close to actually make her want to respond, her mind had succeeded in guiding her to walk away.And to her luck, Asad hadn't pushed her, probably because, he didn't want to cause her any more pain.And thats why she was doing this, she didn't want to cause Asad any more pain, and it was such a irony, for she knew she would be doing so nonetheless.Being away or being here, was the same, she was still causing Asad pain.She knew the only way she could stop causing him any, would be to go back to him as his Zoya, but she knew she couldn't do that,so this was inevitable.

And now finally, the time was here, to leave.She had her flight for 3.00 am.She would be leaving for the airport at Midnight.

She had packed her bags, and had her suitcases ready.There was a time, when she would only pack last minute, for she couldn't sit, if the suitcase was packed, but that had changed of course,along with everything else in her life,strange how little things that make you change by default of your actions in Life.

Tonight, there was a family dinner for everyone, which her mother had arranged at Shantivan.It was being held for two reasons, one to mark the big Khan- Raizada reunion, and second, to finally have everyone together under the same roof, before she would leave.

For she had no idea, when she would be coming back,she had no clue how long her recovery would take.

The last few days of her life had taught her a lot of things.

It really was Strange, how Life can change so drastically in such little time.

It really was Strange, how sometimes, you are just a audience to the contents of your Life.

It exalt was Strange, how sometimes you really do sit and watch your Life drag you by its thread.

But what other option do you have, than to move forward??.Only if Life was kind enough to actually give us some real options to choose from. Sometimes, this thread of life, would get so caught up in a web of tangles, that it really was hard to decide which tangle to address first. And so, you just move forward no matter how hard it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful it is, for that really is our job as passengers in this train of Life. We will often come across so many stations, and we don't really realise the importance of the Happy stations until they are gone, and you are left sitting on a chair, looking back, at what it had been.And you wonder then, whether to laugh or cry,for destiny has ironically given you that one moment to mourn the happiness that once was a part of your Life.