The Desperate Kingdom of Love**COMPLETE**

Chapter 19 - Now or Never

Chapter 19 - Now or Never

There is something common, that has or if it hasn't already it probably will happen in the future,in all our lives. It will be at some point that we all will reach a brink,right on that verge of making the decision, which could no longer be delayed.It would be now or never,and mostly it is when such a situation occurs, its mostly always when we'v pushed ourselves into denial for far too long.

.......

Arnav returned to his seat, after fretting up, and re-adjusted his seat to the flat bed, he needed some sleep, he still had 6 hours to go, until he reached London.He closed his eyes, he had so much to still think about.He had his followed his gut for the first time, and had gotten on this plane to London,and he had finally asked his mind to just shut up, and listen to what he was really feeling, he was tired, just so tired, of playing hide and seek with himself.Actually tired would be an understatement, he was actually exhausted, he didn't have the strength in him, to fight his emotions any more.And finally as he let the gate to his emotions open, it all came flooding in, as if a volcano of feelings and emotions had just erupted.

Khushi Ahemed Khan.

The woman, he had been mesmerised with, the instant he had met her.She had never left his mind, even in the beginning, he had thought of her, even when he hadn't known her.

And then,he had gone to London, and the most surprising thing had happened,he had let himself loose, he had opened to her like he never had, it wasn't just attraction, she was this magnet, he couldn't help but get pulled towards, he had never known he was capable of talking so much, as much as he had talked to Khushi,as much as he had shared with her.One look at her, and his heart would just flip,she had walked into his life and changed everything about it.He had started to believe that he could be different, he could smile, he could laugh, too, he could live, he could be happy.He remembered how, excited he had been to even think of the possibility of her being in love with him, even though he didn't know he loved her then,because he didn't understand what love was, how it functioned, the rules, but he had still wanted to give what they had a chance to explore, to where it was headed, and that itself was a big step for him.But then, the truth had come to surface.The truth, that she was Khushi Ahemed Khan.He knew deep down,had been so hurt, because he had opened up to someone, he had vowed to stay miles away from.He had let himself fall for someone, his mind was trained to hate by default.And he had lashed out at her in the most brutal way, because he was angry for the lie, but more than that he was furious with himself for still wanting her, still thinking about her, still longing for her,and thats why he had channelised all the anger and hatred,towards her.He had shut himself down, in a cage, of misery,for the last five months, and even though he knew it, he didn't want to accept the fact that he was miserable without Khushi in his life.Denial was a fascinating maze, it was really difficult to get one's self out of it, once fallen into its trap,for it gives you a comfort you seek immediately, but you are unable to see, that the comfort is temporary,and you have to break its shackles, to get through,to finally face the reality.And he had had enough of denial,he had tortured himself enough.And he couldn't do this to himself any longer.

He now, knew who she was.and He still longed for Khushi,whatever had happened,how much ever time had passed, he still felt the same way, there was only one thing that had changed, he realised her importance in his life,even more now.He also knew he had hurt her so bad, he had broken her, he had been so ruthless.

Khushi seemed so far away,as if she were at this distance, and he had no idea how to walk that path to her, he had no idea what would he say to her, when he finally saw her, he had no idea as to what he would do to make her forgive him.He had to apologise big time, but he had no idea how he was going to do it.He wasn't good at it.