The Desperate Kingdom of Love**COMPLETE**

Chapter 21 - The Distant Road

Chapter 21 - The Distant Road

Just sometimes, in Life, there are a few paths that the heart may want to tread,but reality stands in like a speed breaker,making us face the fact, that,sometimes the roads that the hearts want to tread, are really very distant.

..........

Arnav watched Khushi out of the corner of his eye as he asked again - " you will listen to me??"

Khushi folded her arms as she nodded - " yes,and its not because I have to, its because i know, you will not let it go until I do,and I don't want to play games with you,no hide and seek,for a change, let us both be honest, you wanted to me to hear you out, go ahead,..."

Arnav looked at her face,she meant it, he could sense it,and she didn't look angry anymore, she looked exhausted.He saw her sit on the sofa across,and she finally looked at me in the eye,as she said - " Im listening..."

Arnav took a deep breath,he felt nervous, for he didn't know where to begin,he wanted to go right across and pull her into his arms,but he couldn't,because even though they were both in front of each other, there was a stark distance, that she had marked in between them.

He took a deep breath,aand walked across,and sat next to her,and he said in a slow voice - " Khushi, will you look at me please?"

And she did,and the confusion in her eyes, was evident and she asked - " what??"

He looked into her eyes,as he finally started to speak - " Khushi, you know, the past,between our families, its too complicated, its twisted,and its painful,the hatred has been a direct result of the fateful day, that changed everything.I have been living with it, feeling it, for the last ten years, its been driving me, my mind has been trained to hate,by default.When I found out, about who you really were,something really just flipped,its like my mind went into the hate mode,straightway,the anger, the hurt, because of your lie, just blinded me so damm much..."

Khushi spoke cautiously - " so you are here to tell me, that? that you hate me by default of my name, my family?I already know that,Arnav...."

She saw him look at her in the eye again and she thought she saw so many different emotions, it was really difficult to understand what was on his mind,but she waited in silence , waiting for him to continue.

Arnav took a deep breath as he answered - " no, I am not here, to tell you that, I am here to tell you, that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hate you Khushi,I was angry at you, so angry, and I was furious with myself, for still thinking about you,for still wanting you,and so all the anger,every bit of it,drove me insane,and I lashed it all out on you,even though deep down, i knew it, that I could be making a mistake, but i didn't care that time, all I wanted was to, hurt you,because of your lie,that had put me in the conflicting position in the first place, I held you responsible for all of that,but at the same time, the emotions that I had for you,what I felt would surface,and I didn't know how to face any of it,and so i did the one thing my mind is accustomed to do, in such situations,It runs away from reality far into denial,and i just end up shutting down my emotions.But Khushi....", and he searched her eyes,and all he could see was anguish but he continued - " but, none of that could change what I felt for you,I thought of you every single day,I missed you every minute, there were a zillion times,that I wrote you messages, i never sent, I couldn't get myself to let go of you,and it angered me further,because that never happened to me, ever before,and so I went a step further,and brought Lavanya back into my life, thinking that maybe I found get some peace,some solace, that i could get my feelings and my mind in sync, so that I could get you out of my systerm,but I failed, I failed so damm miserably,Khushi,Im here because im tired of running away from myself, from what I feel for you,and in all these months iv realised that you being Khushi Ahemed Khan,doesnt even matter anymore, all that matters is, what I feel...Khushi,will you forgive me, please?? I know iv hurt you real bad,but will you please believe that whatever I'm saying is the truth, I know I screwed up big time,but I ...",and he searched her face,and he couldn't take her silence anymore as he said - " Khushi, please say something, talk to me, please, just tell me whats on your mind..."