[Her] Beautiful Dream [BTS Fanfiction] ✓

LXX

Chapter Seventy

Habang bumabiyahe kami pabalik ni Jimin ay laman ng isipan ko ang mga nangyari kagabi, lahat ng iyon. I didn't know if it was because of the place or because of the time or just because of the bottling emotions we were feeling last night that we did… we did what we shouldn't have done.

Pero 'di ba… ganoon naman talaga?  You were capable of doing something wrong because of your feelings. Hindi ko alam kung nagsisisi ba ako, hindi ko alam kung nalulungkot ba ako at hindi ko alam kung nadidismaya ba ako.

I was… I was just very confused.

Vague feelings were pressuring me when I had all the vivid memories of what happened last night. I remembered everything. I remembered the feelings, I remembered the pain, I remembered the love and I remembered the will. I remembered them very vividly.

I could even remember his small eyes staring deeply but lovingly back at me, the moans and harsh exchange of breaths we shared and the pleasure of our joint bodies together.

I tightly pushed my legs together as I felt that pang of soreness down there, a strong evidence. Gusto kong isipin na kaya ako nagkakaganito ay dahil nabigo ko ang sarili ko. I promised myself to preserve it till my wedding day.

But Hanselle, you're not on the lose. It's Jimin. The man you love the most. Isa pa, baka nakakalimutan mo, you pushed both of you to do it. My inner Goddess reminded me.

Isa pa iyan. I could also clearly remember how he had stopped last night but I had dragged him deeper the abyss, pulling him down the pleasurable sin. It felt like I had just done what Eve had done before.

Dahan-dahan ko siyang nilingon na nasa driver's seat at nahuli ko siyang pasulyap-sulyap sa direksyon ko. He diverted his full attention back to the road when he noticed that I caught him stealing glances at me. Should I apologize to him? Lalaki siya baka… baka nadarang lang siya.

"Jimin," tawag ko sa kaniya.

Hindi namin binuksan ang mga nangyari kagabi paggising namin kaninang umaga. Pareho kaming gulat nang makita namin ang mga sarili namin at nagmadali nang magbihis, hiyang-hiya sa mga sarili namin. Maybe, we were both confused.

Nilingon niya ako ng saglit at ibinalik din ang atensyon sa daan. I pressed my lips together, urging myself to speak about last night. "Aren't you tired? I can drive." But I was too damn afraid to say something about it. What had happened wasn't just something that was easy to deal. We had never planned it and no one had foreseen that it would happen.

It both shocked us.

But you are both willing when you did it… My inner Goddess whispered.

I closed my eyes firmly as I felt my nails digging my palms. Hindi… dahil huminto si Jimin kagabi. Ibig sabihin, hindi niya gustong ituloy. He had doubts last nights. At nakaka-inis lang isipin dahil ako yung nagtulak sa kaniya para ituloy iyon.

Crap, I couldn't even tell it!

My trail of thoughts stopped when I felt the car stop moving. Nang nag-angat ako ng tingin ay nasa gilid kami ng highway, cars were everywhere. Mukhang nasa city na kami.

"Why-Why d-did you stop?" I asked, stuttering when I turned to him. My heart starting beating abnormally fast and loud with his stoic but very bothered face.

He sighed deeply. "Misseu, we both wanted it right?" he suddenly asked in a suffering tone that almost made me tear up. His eyes were looking for something through my eyes from within me.

Napanganga ako at matagal na napatitig sa kaniya habang dinadapuan ng paghihirap ang mukha niya. It was like he had been keeping the struggle within himself.