[Her] Beautiful Dream [BTS Fanfiction] ✓

XLIII

Chapter Forty-three

["And Hanselle, he deserves an explanation from you. You can't just leave him like that. Alam mo bang sa ginawa mo, hindi lang siya ang nahihirapan… the whole BTS. Mahalaga ka kay Jimin, mahalaga ka sa kanila at mas lalong mahalaga si Jimin para sa kanila,"] Aly told me, sounded desperate this time.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagpatak ng isang butil ng luha mula sa kaliwa kong mata. I let it stream down my face and wet my left cheek. Kasunod na tumulo ang isang butil ng luha mula naman sa kanang mata ko ngunit nanatili akong nakapikit. This wasn't easy for me too. I was actually choosing the right path for them even if it meant, I had to take the painful wrong path.

"Pinuputol ko na ang lahat ng mayroon kami, Aly. They're just now a peck of dust in my past as I am to them. Mahal ko si Jimin, Aly. He's my dream. My one and only love pero hindi kasi kami puwede, alam mo iyan. He's in an another world, masyado lang talagang malinaw ang fine glass na naghihiwalay sa mga mundo namin kaya akala ko puwede kami. That's why I've bravely crossed the line but now that I'm seeing it clearly, I realized, I have to go back to my world. My world where he doesn't exist," mahabang sabi ko kay Aly, not really minding the faucet like flow of my tears. Inangat ko ang isang kamay ko at pinunasan ang mga pisngi ko. I even sobbed that I was sure, she heard. I heard her gasp loudly.

["Are you crying, Hanselle?!"] malakas at gulat niyang tanong.

"Nahihirapan din ako, Aly. I'm still convincing myself to forget him. I'm still in the middle of accepting the fact that he isn't just for me and the process is… is freaking painful," I said as my voice broke. Pumiyok ako. Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko at kasabay noon ay ang pag-usbong ng mga panibagong luha.

Hindi talaga ako iyakin pero dahil sa mga nararamdaman ko, ang pag-iyak na lang ang tanging paraan para gumaan ang loob ko.

["I'm sorry, Hanselle but if you really wanna get moving and forget, you should talk to him. You can't let everything between you still hanging just because you want to move on. Hanselle, he needs to get moving too,"] she frankly told me. ["You just don't know how devastating he was every time I see him. I've known him personally for a very short time but I could see how he's very lonely,"] dagdag pa niya nagpakunot ng noo ko.

Something was really misleading. Bakit kung magsalita si Aly, parang… parang kilalang-kilala na niya ang BTS? Yes, she had been an ARMY but there was a limitation to what a fan could know.

Sa tono ng pananalita niya, parang nakasama na niya ito ng matagal para masabi niya ang mga iyon.

Hinayaan kong basahin ng mga panibagong luha ang pisngi ko habang iniisip ang mga posibleng nangyari sa BTS at sa mga kaibigan ko nang mawala ako. BTS must've stopped going to our house the moment they had found out that I was gone. Dahil wala nang dahilan para magtungo pa roon ang BTSA.

"Aly," mahinang tawag ko kay Aly.

["Hm?"] she asked, serenely. Bahagyang tumahimik na sa linya at mukhang pinatay na niya ang TV.

"What do you mean you've only known him for a very short time?" I asked, confusedly and suspiciously. Silence engulfed us. I thought, there was really something going on there, with my friend and BTS, whatever it was, I didn't know.

["Hanselle…"] She trailed off just as her breaking voice gave me all the hints, the answer.

I thought again, I just realized what was going on. Full of my heart feasted for the reason but whole of my mind was not in favor. Hindi gagawin iyon ng BTS. Their career was still the most important and not a girl like me.

["Sa ilang araw mong pagkawala, mas nakilala namin ang BTS, Hanselle. Hindi sila mahirap pakisamahan. Hindi mo talaga iisiping mga idols sila,"] Aly started again. At habang sinasabi niya iyon, hindi ko mapigilang tumango-tango, I even wiped my cheeks as I smiled crazily. Dahil tama siya. Kahit na akong napakatahimik at introvert na tao ay nagawa nilang pakisamahan.