The Desperate Kingdom of Love**COMPLETE**

Chapter 21 - The Distant Road

Khushi sat in shock,as she heard what he was saying,he was telling her that he was back for her,that he still felt the same.She felt her turmoil rise, she had never thought that she would be in such a situation in her life.The memories, all came back flooding in,and she felt her heart wrench in pain,and tears finally left her eyes ,as she looked at him and said - " I bared my heart out to you, I told you I loved you, I literally like literally begged you to listen to me , to understand, to see things from my shoes,all I wanted was for you to just look at me for who I am, other than my name,look into my eyes, and see, the love that I felt for you, I loved you with all my heart, I risked everything,I was up against my bhaijaan,in being with you, but I didn't care, because what I felt about you,was so strong, so pure....but...you...."

He heard speak,as tears continuously poured down her face,and the sight killed him,and he acted on instant,and rubbed her tears as he said cupping her face - "But i screwed it up, I know Khushi , I hurt you...",and he looked into her eyes, they were finally bare in front of him, reflecting her every emotion,but all he could see was pain,he couldn't see any love in them,and she didn't pull away from his hold and she looked into his eyes as she said - " but, you trampled over my heart just like that, in a second,you have no idea,how I felt, how broken I was, and when I figured, that you were back with lavanya, it was like as if you had just stabbed in so deep, and it was then it hit me, it wasn't just about me being Khushi Ahemed Khan, it was just about me, as a woman, who could never be...",and she feltt him wipe her tears away again, but he didn't interrupt her ,and she took a deep breath - " you just threw me out of your life, like a fly,and you have no idea, how that felt, but I came to terms with it, because i loved you,I wanted you to be happy,and if you didn't want me in your life, it was a decision I had to live with...", she finally got up,and walked across of him, with her back to him, as tears continued to flow,she didn't want him to see her like this,as she relived every bit of pain and emotion as she continued - " Arnav,I will be lying, if i say, that I wasn't a mess,after you left,I was a wreck,There were times, I cried all night, because I couldn't get myself to stop thinking of you, of what we had, all your memories and i would cry until sleep would come, you know thats what is so crazy about a heartbreak,the anguish,and the pain,it burns you so bad, until one day it finally stops hurting anymore,and you start healing then..."

Arnav saw the anguish the pain on her face, in her eyes, he really had hurt her beyond repair,and the guilt pricked him so bad and he walked to her and slowly made her turn around to look at him as he said - " Im sorry, Khushi, I really am, I cant change what I did, but i am here now,please tell me how to make this better, what can i do?"

Khushi looked into his eyes as she asked - " you think its so easy, Arnav, that you could just fly in and out like that,you do realise this isn't just about you anymore,I am not a toy, you can just toss around when you decide you are done,and want it back when you feel you still yearn for the toy, Im sorry, but it doesn't work like that, because I am a human being,and guess what I come with feelings and emotions,and a mind of my own,I am not just a robot, you can program according to your whims and fancies..."

Arnav held her by her arms - " Khushi, no, i didn't mean it like that....gosh no, I know I hurt you,and I know its my mistake, but all I want is one chance..."

Khushi looked at him straight in the eye as she said - " Arnav, I I'm sorry, I can't...."

Arnav felt something break inside of him,as he heard her and he asked, his own voice trembling as he asked - " Khushi...??"

Khushi sighed as she said - " look the only reason why we are having this conversation is because I feel we have this history,and its time,we both come to terms with it, but whatever we had was in the past, after all this time, nothing is the same anymore,everything has changed...and I have to be honest to you,I don't want to lie to you ever again,the truth is that I have moved on Arnav, i really have,and I have met someone else, that I really like..."