I'm Not That Cruel *Showki Part Five

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I'm not that cruel Part Five

It was if I could not see beyond reason. My eyes kept staring at Kihyun. He was still left there, standing, his face with worrisome.

I, however, cannot seem him clearly. I am beyond this mundane world right now. I'm in the future with the so said triplets that I have just conceived with Kihyun. Although I should be asking how he could conceive three fetuses, nevertheless conceive at all, I am left overwhelmed at the fact that I am a parent with the person I used to hate the most. I have become someone different and this situation, is the representation that it has changed.

Three babies staring right at me, their little eyes blinking and completely in awe of me, as I am to them. The smell of cleaning supplies petrifying my nostrils, too squeaky clean for my liking.

The room invading my personal space, making my insides feel like I am trapped, no where to turn, nowhere to hide. This is my reality.

Sweet, Kihyun sleeping soundlessly, his mind at ease knowing that I am there holding our children. I'm I at ease? One single moment shifts into another and the world that I seem to be used to, have no problem with, is now my confusion, woozy and foggy reality.

There is too much blinking. Slowly, I am brought back to earth, back to the mundane world of imperfections and unknown futures.

He is still staring right at me. His worry penetrating into mine. I am too, worried. Our worlds fused, becoming into a single place where we become one single correlation; we are both linked into the problem but we are not the cause of this happening. Just because we happen to intersect doesn't mean that we are the cause of what this happen.

Something beyond our level of interpretation attracted us so that we can get over whatever feud we have between us. Me asking Kihyun to have sex didn't have anything to do with this happening. It was this opportunity that allowed us to realize what we where- I, most importantly- was very, very toxic.

"What you're saying is the mostly definite true, correct? You're not lying to me, Kihyun, right?" My voice is croaky yet at the same holds the authority and affirmation that what I'm saying is serious.

I'm not allowing myself to show my
weakness, my fear, my entire old life flashing across my eyes.

Kihyun blinks. Blank expression although he looks thoughtful. I can see and, weirdly, feel his chest rapidly moving, in and out the air goes. My chest even feels like it is mimicking his.

"Kihyun, I'm not playing around," I beg, the answer still lingering in my mind. I know the answer already. I just need to hear from his lips. He needs to confirm it, one last time.

He gulps. I close my eyes and insert my tongue in the inside between my mouth and my teeth to control myself and not lash out in front of what is a very vulnerable confrontation.

At this time I am hoping that the door opens so the tension can be release and I can have more time to think.

"It is the truth, Mr. Son. i was going to tell you soon but I didn't know how you would react." His shoulders begin to shake and his face distorts to creases and his lips start to quiver.

"Please, don't call me Mr. Son in this situation. Talk to me like Shownu, the father of our children. Don't think of me as your boss," I demand, standing up and pushing my chair inside until it touches the table in which I lean my hands into the top of the chair and let my head fall to the front.

"Okay," he speaks, the cries somewhat diminishing but you can hear the hiccups.

The noise from the outside is a good source of external noise that distracts my distraught heart. I shouldn't be feeling like my life is ruined. But I do. My life is over. I need to take responsibility of what I have caused. What really worries me if this is going to further hurt Kihyun. I have done enough already.

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