I like what we didn't have // Yoonseok

18. anger

Hoseok couldn't stop watching Yoongi in the mirror as they practised their dances. God he looked so good.
At some point Yoongi noticed and smiled at Hoseok via the mirror. The younger blushed and turned his face to the ground.
"Hoseok, the audience isn't going to believe you're having fun if you keep your head down!" Their dance teacher said. Hoseok looked up, but his face was bright red out of embarrassment.

When the group had a small break, Namjoon came up to Hoseok. "I see you and Yoongi are on good terms?" He said askingly. "What... oh, yeah." Hoseok responded, a little off guard. Namjoon smiled, "That's good, that's very good," he seemed to hesitate before the next words came out of his mouth, "Did he tell you already?"
Hoseok, very confused, looked at his same age member, "Tell me what?"
"Oh, he told me you heard... ehm... us talking." Namjoon said hesitating. "If we're thinking the same, yes, he lowkey confessed this morning. If not, then what are you talking about?" Hoseok was glad he mostly could be open towards Namjoon, but now their conversation was just confusing for the both of them. "Oh, good, I heard some things happened when you guys were drunk. And, well, yea, I wouldn't want that to be public if I were you." Namjoon said, confusing Hoseok even more.
"Wait? Did Yoongi tell you that? Does he even remember what happened?" Hoseok couldn't believe his ears. Did Yoongi already know about the kisses they had shared before.
"He told me two or three days after debut what happened. And another time later, I think that wasn't too long ago actually." Namjoon looked at Hoseok who's face showed a mix of confusion and anger "Oh, did I say something I wasn't supposed to?" He added, but Hoseok shook his head. "No, it's alright, I just need to talk to Yoongi later." Namjoon nodded and walked back to the side of the practise room to go over some moves again.
"I can't believe he told Namjoon." Hoseok mumbled to himself. "Who told what to Namjoon?" Taehyung's loud and bright voice asked. Hoseok jumped from the sudden sound, "Geez Tae, you scared me. Why are you so loud?" Taehyung pouted, "sowwy, forgive me?" Hoseok smiled and shook his head, "It's alright." It seemed like Taehyung wanted to ask again, but fortunately their dance teacher told them to start again. "Alright, choreograph for 'Boy In Luv' go!" When everybody had taken their position, the music started again.

They had had a pretty long day, but when it was over the boys were happy to rest again. Back at the dorm, Hoseok decided to ask Yoongi about how much he actually knew. "Yoongi hyung?" Hoseok asked exaggeratingly sweet. "Yes, Hoseokie?" Yoongi smirked. But quickly Hoseok's expression turned a little more serious, "Why didn't you tell me you already knew?" Yoongi stopped moving, "That I already knew what?" The younger rolled his eyes, "I think you know what I mean very well. You knew about our past 'hookups' yet you never told me!"

"Yo-you seem angry" Yoongi stammered. "Not angry," Hoseok stated, "more something like frustrated. Yoongi I've embarressed myself!" The older frowned, "What do you mean by 'embarressed yourself'... does that mean you wouldn't have kissed me if you knew that I would remember?" Hoseok sighed, "No, not like that. But just because you remember what happened, doesn't mean you should tell everyone."

"By everyone you mean Namjoon, I assume." Yoongi looked down, "I'm sorry, maybe we should never have kissed in the first place. I was too drunk to control myself anyway." Yoongi said angry.

"Yoongi, I didn't me-" Hoseok started, but was cut off by his elder, "No, you made it clear. I'm going to shower now. Don't be clingy and accidently walk in."

Hoseok changed into his pyjamas and crawled in bed. Yoongi has shown so many personalities over the past few months, how could I possibly adapt to that? Hoseok's thoughts were a mess, but he couldn't help it. Yoongi had indeed been a lot of different persons, from stone cold to the cutest dork you could possible imagine. Sometimes he was very dominant and commanding, and the next day he would be all over Hoseok being all cuddly. It confused Hoseok a lot, so he tried not to think about it. But the subject kept coming back, slowely consuming all of Hoseok's thoughts. He kept twisting and turning in his bed, no position seemed comfortable. Does Yoongi hate me now? He doesn't have the right though... or am I just really wrong?

He blamed Yoongi for not being able to sleep. "Yoongi? Are you awake?" Hoseok asked carefully. A quick "no" was followed by a "shit" and Hoseok was about to start talking again but Yoongi rolled over and faced Hoseok from to opposite bed. "I don't want to talk, let me sleep." And although Hoseok knew that Yoongi needed his sleep, he was determined to say what he wanted to. "You know what," Hoseok said, stood up and walked to Yoongi's bed, "it's not fair! It's not fair that you get to feel like shit but I don't. You always make yourself seem like the victim, but you're not. I'm not saying that I am the victim, but just because I'm not you can't decide that you are!" Yoongi opened his mouth, "Hose-" but Hoseok shut him up. "No, I wasn't done talking yet!" He said and sat down on the groud so his face was on the same level as Yoongi's. "You've shown me so many different kinds of you, you keep looking at me like I've gone crazy but I've seen so many different versions of you. And you decide when I get to be angry, which is literally never! I'm very angry right now, you've put me through more than you think, and all you can do is blame me for it. Take responsibility for it Min Yoongi!" Hoseok noticed that it wasn't even what he really came to say, but he felt like he scolded Yoongi enough for now.

And then it happened...

Something that Hoseok didn't think he would ever see.