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I took steady steps twirling to the beat of my favorite song, I've been pretending all good for so long I forgot to let my inner emotions breathe. I turned the music louder to block the world.

I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human I crash and I break down.

Only I can't get through how horrible of a phase I'm in right now. No matter how loud I play the music no matter how far my screams reach and it definitely means nothing if I tell people - the only thing that could end this is sleep but just not any sleep not the resting position that takes you to dream land because in my case it's a nightmare land. It's the eternal sleep the one you never wake up from; the one that takes you to hell or heaven. And in this case hell is a must, for this miserable alcoholic drug addict bitch right here.

Everything I went through, made sure I could never get over. He made sure I can never, she made sure, they made sure. Everything made sure I'm foreverafter staying helpless and wretched.

All I need is a breather, something, someone who doesn't know me a ray of sunshine. A fresh start, a new beginning. Jumping out of this roof couldn't possibly provide that for me, I shouldn't even die If I through myself from here. Pathetic, pathetic life, pathetic wishes, pathetic being.

I just want someone who doesn't like to see me breaking, it's been well over year since my life went down hell after leaving the
Poorhouse of an orphanage. After having turned 18 they tend to infiltrate late @$$ teens, they were humanly enough though to enroll a bunch of us in schools with no idea of further education or existence plan.

I got myself in a clutter with a bunch of trouble makers. My head was in turmoil, I think I'm losing it. Having to spread all the facts and recalls makes it a bit hard to breathe at times. I was bearly able to live with myself, providing day to day food for myself. To say the least I was quite surprised I'm still alive, the amount of poisons I managed to physically and mentally inhale could be enough to set the tone of insanity if not death.

At one point I really considered turning myself around, but hey it's not easy as it sounds.

"Hey!" I heard a very deep voice, shouldn't the screaming music be blatant enough to block all out?

I looked up towards the hoarse voice to see two young men approaching me. I have faith in what I see, and I know I've met at Angel. I tilted my head to the side gazing at him, I saw alot of people and heard alot of things none were exactly preparing for this.

I smiled to myself as I took in the boy, "Okay, just come down. Let's talk about it, I can help you." He said inching closer, his nervous state made me think that he was the one probably in need of help.

I looked away, "Hey listen to me," he said.
"Come on take my hand,"

I decided I wasn't going to end here, this boy is interesting and I felt curious. Does it really look like I was going to kill myself? I mean I'd first take my headphones down wouldn't risk breaking my most precious item that is my iPod. I worked so hard to get that!

I took his hand, something I wanted to try. And guess what? It was something.... electricity shot in my hand as I came down.

"That was fast, I expected something dramatic." His friend said. Making me give him a slay side smile, and give a curt node.

"The heck were you doing up there!" The boy who was still holding my hand asked.

Not really sure how to feel about it. I shrugged my shoulder, "Oh She might be in shock, Niall check her," the friend said.