Don't You Ever Let Me Go. (Jalex)

So Close- Chapter 13

[Jack's pov]

"Jack, you and your mom should really talk about this." Alex rubbed my upper arm, trying to comfort me, but I just kept wincing from the pain of the fresh burn marks.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked slowly. I didn't respond. He stopped rubbing my arm and looked at my sleeve. He gently pulled it up and gasped at the sight of many marks on my skin.

"You can't say a word. Only Zack knows." I said in a surprisingly calm voice.

"How long? But why?" Alex looked at me in disbelief. I bit my lip. He just kept staring at me. I felt bad, I really did. But why did her care? He barely knows me. He only knows my name so far as I can tell. He doesn't know much about my dad, hell, I didn't even know much about my dad.

"It all started when I was 13, I realized that I wasn't wanted. I've always knew people didn't like me or want me from how I was treated at school, but when he left I realized not even my own dad wanted me..." I explained to him the whole story. I explained why, when, where, what I used, and how the thought got into my mind.

"Jack!" I heard my mom yell when I finished my story.

"Go talk to your mom. I'll wait here." It looked like Alex was holding back tears. Why is he crying? Shouldn't I be the one crying?

I sighed and walked out of my room, closing the door behind me. "Yes, mom?" I called out, walking down the stairs. Slowly if I might add, I was still sort of scared about how angry she was earlier. She never gets that angry, if that even was anger. I'm not really sure, but I can honestly say my mom has never acted like that before.

"Sit down, Jack. We need to talk." She said, lazily running a hand through her hair. I scrunched my eyebrows and sat down on the couch. My mom sat directly in front of me in a pull out chair.

"About your father..." She trailed off, I could hear and see the mix of sadness and anger in her. I regret ever bringing the subject of my father up, but I'm almost 16, I think I deserve to know more information on why he didn't want me anymore.

"What about him?" I clenched my teeth and held back tears. I guess it's a sensitive subject for the both of us.

"You were right, I do know something that you don't on why he left. Your father and I agreed not to tell you until you were ready. I think this is the perfect time." She paused to bite her lip as she thought about her next set of words.

"Where did he go? Why didn't he want me anymore?" I whispered, honestly feeling helpless. I saw my mom hold back her own tears.

"He loved you, you know? He just. He had to go Jack. Your dad had a lot of education with being a doctor when you were younger, that was his job. He also had the knowledge with guns, he was very well at shooting. He never missed his target." She explained, trying to word everything carefully and perfect.

"What's that have to do with anything?" I asked, generally confused.

"Jack, your dad was called into the military when you were 10. That's why he said he may never see you again, but if he did see you, it wouldn't be for a long time." Right then and there my heart shattered, once again. But yet, things made more sense and some pieces were put back together.

"Is he.....A-alive?" I asked, scared of what the answer might be.

"He is. He hasn't returned home since you were 10. When you started to say to people that he didn't want you and that you hated him, he was too afraid to face you. So he left."

With those words, I froze. So, I was the reason m dad never came back? I was the reason he didn't want to see me. I was the reason he had left my mom, because of the words I had said! I was too busy jumping to conclusions, thinking he didn't want me while he was actually basically fighting for this country to save my ass. What a fuck up on your part Jack.

"Mom I'm so sorry I caused this." I whispered, tears welling in my eyes.

"Aw Jack there is no reason to be sorry. You didn't do anything." My mom wrapped her arms around me tightly.

"B-but I jumped to conclusions and made him leave me, you. I made him leave us! I'm such a fucked up failure. I'm useless!" I exclaimed. My life really is a mess, and that's my fault.

"I don't ever want to hear you say that. You're an amazing person. That Astrid girl will be lucky to have a guy like you." My mom winked. Oh god, here it goes.

"About that mom, I lied. I don't like Astrid like that. I sort of panicked and said I did, when I meant someone else." I looked down.

"Oh? Does this person have a name?" She smirked, almost as if she knew.

"Alex." I coughed and mumbled, so she couldn't make out what I said.

"Who? You're too busy trying not to tell me." She laughed. I groaned, "Mom, I'll tell you later. Just please don't freak out when I tell you?" I begged. She smiled and shooed me back to my room. Finally!

"Hey Jack-O, how did it go?" Alex gave me soft smile. My heart just started to beat faster. It always does when I'm near him, and that just makes this whole friends thing harder. 

"Well, my dad's actually in the military. When I turned like 13 I told everyone I hated him for not wanting me anymore, and he was too scared to face me. I drove my own father away. It all makes sense now, but I jut FUCKING hate myself for this!" I started to cry lightly. Alex engulfed me in a tight hug, running his hands up and down my back to comfort me. 

"It's not your fault. Did she say anything else?" He whispered in my ear. 

"Yeah, she said Astrid would be lucky to have me. So I had to awkwardly tell her about how I was lying about that because I was too afraid to tell her who it is." I chuckled and looked at his hazel eyes. He smiled down at me. 

"Well, who is it? I bet they would be lucky to have you. They're probably dying to be with you." He winked and started to laugh. Oh god, please don't do that. That makes me fall for you even harder. 

"Uhh, yeah, I don't think so." I shook my head. 

"You totally just avoided my question on who it is." He pointed out. 

"Because I don't want to say their name." I bit my lip and chuckled, hoping he wouldn't catch on to all of the OBVIOUS hints on who it is. 

"Well, are you close to this person?" He asked. I sighed, well, if you mean am I sitting at least 1 foot away from this person, then yes. 

"Yeah. Pretty close. But I don't know." I said, discreetly looking at the distance between him and I. This is as close as we'll ever be. He's so close, but yet so far away. 

I hate you for making me feel this way.