Don't You Ever Let Me Go. (Jalex)

Choices & Burns -Chapter 6

[Jack's pov]

"Hey uh I gotta go." I said, getting up and walking across the road. 

"Jack, wait!" Alex yelled. I didn't even turn around, I didn't want to see his face. I thought I actually made new friends. But nope, just someone who had to be dared to socialize with me. 

I sighed and walked in my house. I slammed the door and ran up to me room. I locked my bedroom door and flopped down on my bed. "Why am I such a fucking failure?" I whispered to myself. "No one will ever like me. No one wants to be friends. I fucking hate myself." I mumbled. I felt the hot tears roll down my face. Such a failure. You're such a fuck up. I just kept thinking those things to myself. 

No one likes you. 

You're so pathetic, Jack. 

Not even your dad loved you enough to stick around. 

Everyone. Fucking. Hates. You!

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I grabbed my hidden lighter and a pocket knife. I lit the lighter and placed the pocket knife over the flame. I haven't done this in awhile, but it feels normal. After awhile of heating up the metal of the once cool knife, I rolled up my sleeve and pressed the hot knife to my skin. I winced in pain for a second then I got used to the normal burning sensation. After a few burns I put the knife and the lighter back and went into my room. I sat down in the corner and started screaming and sobbing. 

Such a fuck up, Jack. You were 7 months clean. Now look what you did. 

I heard someone knocking on my door, but I didn't pay any attention. Soon Alex picked the lock on my door and came in. As soon as he saw the sobbing failure and mess in the corner, known as Jack Barakat, his facial expression changed. He's probably disgusted. 

"Jack, what the fuck?" He said calmly. 

He's disgusted with you. He hates you. You already have 2 black eyes from him. No one likes you. 

The voices in my head just kept repeating those words. It was driving me insane, really. 

"FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled, pulling at my hair from the corner of the room. 

"God dammit." Alex whispered and left my room. 

[Zack's pov]

"He's a total fucking mess in there." Alex ran a hand through his hair. 

I nodded my head, not really wanting to speak. I don't really speak to anyone besides Jack, I'm not comfortable with other people. I walked into Jack's room and shut the door behind me. I sat next to him and let him cry on my shoulder. 

"What's wrong?" I whispered to Jack, who finally some-what calmed down. 

"He was dared to be nice to me for a day, Zack. No one likes me. Everyone hates me." He stuttered out. 

"Jack, you're my best friend. My only friend. I don't care if anyone else hates you, because a lot of people hate me too. Everyone can hate us together." I bro hugged him and exited his room. As soon as I saw Alex my anger rose to the top. That fucking prick! He gave Jack 2 black eyes, harasses him, and now he only acts nice because he was dared. 

"Hey Alex, turn around!" I yelled. Alex quickly turned around with a smile on his face. As soon as he turned around I took my foot and kicked him in the balls. After that I punched him right in the face. 

"What the fuck man?" He looked a little shocked. Mainly because I'm the shy one and I would never hurt a fly, but Jack is my best friend and I hate seeing him so upset. 

"You fucking prick! Do you know what he's been through?" I yelled and pointed towards Jack's door. Alex shook his head. 

"And you have the fucking nerve to move here, give him 2 black eyes, have people jump him at the bus stop, and be dared to be nice to him for a day." I clenched my teeth together so much my teeth felt like they would shatter from the pressure. Astrid stood behind Alex and turned Alex around. Alex looked confused at first but then Astrid smacked him across the face. Hard, if I might add. He deserves it. 

"You know what it's like to have that done to you, don't you ever fucking dare to do that to someone else. What happened to staying true to yourself?" Astrid's eyes held anger. Now I'm the one who's shocked, Astrid doesn't look like the type to hold so much anger. But what did she mean by "You know what it's like to have that done to you" ? Is she saying Alex used to be in a position like Jack's? Well, Jack and myself, we're both the victims of the school. Lucky for us. *Note the sarcasm*

"I'm sorry, I just, I thought that if I....Can we talk alone?" Alex's voice broke through out the sentence. He was crying? The Alex Gaskarth was crying? Probably just some stupid act. 

[Alex's pov]

"I know it's wrong, but I thought if I just acted like them that I would be cool for once." I started to bite on my nails. Not like I had any nails. So basically just the tips of my fingers. 

"Alex, no matter what, you never lay a hand on someone else. You were there before. Remember what happened after Tom?" My cousin looked at me with tears in her eyes. I hate seeing her cry. We were raised together and we've been through everything together. I rarely see her cry but when I do it physically hurts me. 

"I remember. How could I forget?" I quietly cried at the mention of what happened. 

"Make a choice. The people who are just like who you were, or the people who are brainwashing you. But I will tell you this, my dad said I could move here and attend your school, so if you choose those assholes, you won't only lose Jack and Zack, but you'll lose me and Rian." She spoke with a stern tone. I thought about losing my cousin. I can't do that. But then I thought about losing Zack, Rian and Jack. I also can't do that. Then finally I thought about beaten up again because I chose the people who I love. I can't go back to that. I can't go back to being helpless. 

"Okay, I'll choose." I choked out.