Don't You Ever Let Me Go. (Jalex)

Feels Like Breaking Out -Chapter 10

[Jack's pov]

Sandy hair, deep brown eyes, pink lips, the way he walks, the way he talks, and his cocky attitude. For some reason, when he gets near me, in the rare times when he isn't an asshole, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. Then when he leaves, or hurts me in anyway, I just feel betrayed. Is this normal? Is this supposed to happen? Maybe it's a sign that something is wrong and I need to be as far away from him as possible. But there's a problem with that. I don't know if I want to be. My mind is screaming it's for the better but then my heart is just telling me that things are okay and Alex and I are meant to be near each other. What the actual fuck?

"Mom, can I talk to you?" I asked my mother who was sitting at the breakfast bar with her usual cup of coffee and newspaper. 

"Sure, what's on your mind Jacky?" She patted the seat next to her. I sat and looked at my thumbs, trying to find a way to put this. Without telling her it's about her new friends' son. 

"Well, what do you do when your mind is telling you to do something but your heart is telling you to do the complete opposite?" I stopped twirling my thumbs and looked at her. She looked lost in thought, probably trying to figure out what I mean. 

"Well, it depends. But if this something or someone means anything to you, then listen to your heart. Things can never go wrong when you listen to your heart. Now, go get dressed, Isobel and Peter invited me to a wine tasting." My mom smiled and patted my knee. I stood up, I'm glad to see her happy again. 

I raced upstairs and got dressed into some random Blink-182 shirt and some black jeans. My usual outfit. I straightened my black hair and slipped on some converse. I looked into the mirror, I still had 2 black eyes, and the dried blood near my nose was slowly going away. But I did have a slight bruise on my nose. I shrugged, other than that I still looked horrible. My ugly self, I have horrible self-esteem. I also noticed my hair looked a little bland, maybe some day I'll make it a little more interesting. If that's possible. I grabbed my guitar and guitar pick, ready to go to Zack or Rian's house. 

I ran down stairs and got stopped by my mom. "You're going to Peter and Isolbel's well we're gone." She said with a smile. Why would she even suggest that? Oh yeah, she doesn't know about my hatred towards Alex. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't win if I fought over the subject. My mom got the house keys and locked the door. We walked side by side across the road, to the rich assholes house. 

[Alex's pov]

I sat in my bedroom, not wanting to be bothered. My parents understood why, I was too busy writing this song. Nothing I wrote was good enough. For fuck's sake, I was playing this in front of the whole class in a few weeks, including Jack. 

I took my guitar off it's stand and started to play what I had down so far. 

"Is this what it feels like?

Finding out

That I've got the guts

To say anything

Feels like

Breaking out

When I can

Give up my reputation

Finally,

I can see

Honestly, I've got the guts

To say anything"

I smiled, now that was good enough. Now I just need more lyrics and we'll have a song. I just need the Drums, Bass, another guitar, and obviously a singer. there's no way I'm singing, I'm not good enough. 

I heard clapping coming from my door, which made me jump out of my chair. Jack stood in the doorway, clapping and smiling. My eyes went wide, he wasn't supposed to hear that. 

"Didn't know you could sing." Jack stated, impressed. He invited himself in my room and sat on the bed. 

"Uh, yeah I guess I can." I shrugged and put my guitar away. Then I noticed Jack had his guitar. I smiled, for some reason, I keep finding myself thinking about his perfections. Literally, this scares me, knowing that I'm bi and could be falling for a guy again, considering what happened last time I fell for a guy. But then the other problem is, Jack is too perfect for me, and he's straight. 

[Jack's pov]

I bit my lip. I didn't know he could sing. 

"Did you write that?" I asked him, just above a whisper. 

"Uhh yeah." He looked down, his cheeks slightly pink. 

"It was good. What was the inspiration behind it?" I didn't even have to ask, I already knew. I mean, just think about it. He shrugged, "Stuff. So why are you here, not to be rude." He finally looked at me. 

Alex pointed at my guitar, "Play something for me." I smiled again, something I've been doing a lot lately, especially when Alex is around me and is nice. I'm not really sure why. I placed my hands, and started to play "I Miss You" by Blink-182. Soon, Alex started to sing a long to the sound of me playing guitar. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I laid on my bed, facing the ceiling. The lyrics Alex wrote endlessly running through my mind. 

"Is this what it feels like?

Finding out

That I've got the guts

To say anything

Feels like

Breaking out

When I can

Give up my reputation

Finally,

I can see

Honestly, I've got the guts

To say anything."

I whispered to myself. What does he mean "Feels like, Breaking out, When I can give up my reputation"? Does it have something to do with his new friends. I bit my lip, this is going to annoy me until I found out. For sure. Only if I knew.