Don't You Ever Let Me Go. (Jalex)

Like A Candle You Burned Out- Chapter 12

[Jack's pov]

I walked in my house later that day, I haven't stopped smiling. For some reason the thought of Alex actually being nicer made me happy. Maybe I'll get beat on less this year. Things certainly have changed since the start of this year, Zack is less shy, Alex is actually being nicer, I have friends, and I haven't burned myself since the relapse. 

"Why are you so smiley?" My mom chuckled. I didn't even notice her standing there. 

"Because, this person is being nicer to me...And I think I might like them." I admitted. I don't know how I feel about him, honestly. My emotions are just shot, since my dad left I haven't cared for anyone but Zack and my mom. That's it. I'm new to this whole "feelings" thing. 

"Aw, well can I know her name?" My mom smiled widely. Oh shit, she said her. Plus, she wants to know the name. Oh fuck. I thought for a long time, then it hit me. 

"Uhh her name is Astrid." I lied. Majorly lied, but my mom didn't seem to catch on to my lie. 

"Oh really now?" I heard another voice ask. I turned around, face to face with no other than Alex. I widened my eyes at him, letting him know to drop it. "Uhm mom, I'm gonna go hang with Alex. See ya!" I said in a hurry and pulled Alex out the door. 

"You like Astrid?" Alex whispered, shock in his voice. 

"No, not like that. Just follow me, I have a lot of explaining to do." I tugged on his arm and pulled him to the tree house. Yes, I was letting my guard down slowly. So I'll let him in the tree house just once. 

We sat on the comfy bean bag chairs I had in the corner of the tree house. "So, explain." Alex nudged me. Okay, how do you explain to someone that you might have feelings for them and you might be gay? 'Hey Alex, I'm gay and I like penis. More specifically your penis.' Oh hell no, I'm not saying that. I want to explain calmly, not scare the guy to where he gets a restraining order against me for being a complete weirdo. 

"Okay, well I think I sort of like someone, but I'm not sure. I've never really had feelings before. I was just always and still am numb That's all I am. So when my mom asked who, I just panicked and said Astrid. Even though the person I like is no where near Astrid." I explained. Alex shook his head and gave me a small smile. "Well, I'm always here for you Jack-o." He ruffled my hair, causing me to glare at him. I just  wanted to hug him, be close to him. I internally groaned, what the fuck is wrong with me? 

"So, what are you gonna do when your mom thinks you like Astrid when Astrid comes to your house?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Fuck." I mumbled. 

"You could just tell her the truth. I mean, how bad could the person be?" 

"The person isn't bad. In fact my mom adores this person, but I'm afraid she won't accept me or anything with the person. If that makes sense." I ran my hands through my hair. This is going to be difficult. 

"Don't worry, we'll stress about it later. But right now we have a song to write." I let Alex pull me to my feet and lead me to his house. 

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"Oh how about this,"

"Take apart

Everything that's
Holding me down

Make a point
To pick a new direction
To make a new connection" Alex sang, studying the words on the notebook in front of him.

"Yeah, that's perfect. You're really good at singing ya know?" He smiled at me, that's been happening a lot lately. He really is friendly after all. I wonder what made him change his mind and everything.