~Lams~ Love At First Glance || College AU *COMPLETED* *DO NOT READ*

Chapter 10: Help

                                                    ~John's POV~

I sit it my dorm, alone. The sirens slowly getting softer, as the ambulance moves father away.

I jump on my bed, and stuff my face into my pillow. 

'What else could I have done to help? Punch the dude or something? I wouldn't of done that though, because I'm too much of a coward. I stand off to the side every single time. It doesn't matter who or what, but I'm the one on the guild lines, to nervous to do anything, feeling like I'm going to mess it up, when there's no way I possibly can! I run away, and try to ignore it like an ignorant idiot, and that will probably just make the problem worse. At least I called an ambulance.'

I go on my phone and mess around for what felt like hours, but was only about 10 minutes.

'Wait, was the problem even serious enough to call an ambulance? It looked bad, but probably not bad enough for hospital. Ugh, I mess every single freakin' thing up. I never can do anything right! No matter what I do, I do it incorrectly, and mess it up for everyone, or for the person I'm trying to help. How am I even here?  I don't deserve to be here, I don't deserve Alex, I should be back with my abusive, homophobic father, being abused every day for being gay, because I'm useless. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself. I don't deserve this, I'm spoiled, I shouldn't be here, I was sent to the wrong place, I don't know why I'm even here, and how I was so privileged.'

I turn over, again, and stuff my face in a pillow, tears running down my face, though I'm trying to hard to hold them back. I sit there for 5 minutes, straight, until I hear a knock on the door.

"Is this Alexander's dorm?" a soft lovely female voice asks.

"Alexander Hamilton?" I ask, voice tattering. 

"Yeah, him." she replies.

"He's not here at the moment, but this is the right dorm." I reply, shaking, hoping she didn't hear the tightness in my voice. 

"Can you open the door?" she asks.

'Should I? Last time we did, it was Thomas and he stabbed Alex straight in the arm, and what if he's here to do the same to me? The voice sounds similar, but real this time. Last time, it sounded recorded, but I didn't say anything. I'll just do it. I need to stop being a coward anyways.'

I get off the top bunk, and open the door.

It was Eliza, the girl Alex met, and probably steal him from me.

"Also, my name is John Laurens, Alex's roommate. Eliza, right?" I ask.

"Yes. Thank you for letting me in." she said, with a smile on her face, closing the door behind her.

'Wait, are my eyes bloodshot? I should've quickly checked, ugh. Will she notice? Does it look like I've been crying, do I look alright? It's too late now.'

"Are you alright?" she asks.

'I'm not alright.'

"I'm fine." I reply.

"You sure?" she asks.

"N- I mean yes. I'm fine" I reply.

"You don't look fine, and you don't seem fine. Please be hone..." she observed.

"I'm being honest, I'm fine. Honestly." I interrupted.

'She seems so concerned, and she seems sweet.So, that's why Alex accepted her number.'

"If you insist." she replies.

"Thank you for being concerned though. Nobody has ever really been the concerned for me." I thank.

"It's no problem. Also, by any chance do you know where Alex is?" she asks.

'I don't wanna concern her, I really don't because I don't know her, and what's she gonna do to him? Probably steal him from me with her soft, luscious voice, that I'll begin to hate in weeks to come. I'll just say no'

"No, I don't know where he is at the moment." I say, sounding like I'm lying, nervously.

"It sounds like you know." she winked.

"You caught me, I know. I don't wanna tell you though because it'll just concern you, and I'm sure he's fine." I mutter.

"Just tell me, please?" she asked.

"He's in the hospital." I rasped.

"Wait, what?" she asked, with her face turning from a normal face expression to concerned in a matter of seconds.

"I was the only witness, and I don't want to talk about it." I mutter.

"Tell me what happened, please." she begged.

"I said, I don't want to talk about it." I barked.

"Fine, but I'm generally concerned, and I want to know. Please. I beg of you, just to tell me what happened. Please." she begged.

"I said, I don't want to talk about it, and this is the third time I've said it. He's probably fine anyways so there's no reason to be concerned. It's a cut on his arm, not his head or something important like that. He's most-likely F-I-N-E." I softy yelled.

A moment of silence.

"I'm sorry." I mutter.

"Than, I have one question. Why did it look like you were crying when I came in?" she asked.

"Leave." I demanded.

"I'm not leaving without an answer." she said, sternly. 

'Okay, so she wants to be enemies, I see how it is.'

"It's personal." I replied.

"I bet it's not in a million years, sorry." she teased.

"I care about him, okay?" I responded.

"You didn't seem to earlier." she questioned.

"I really just care about him, I was just upset, and I didn't want to concern you earlier. To be honest, he's like a sibling to me, and I-I love him." I murmured, trying not to break down in front of her.

She gave me this warm stare, trying to make me feel better.

"I'm sorry that I was so rude earlier. I regret pushing you, and crossing the boundary." she reassured.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." I replied.

"So, are you two blood related, or dating or something? You don't have to answer if you aren't comfortable." she asked.

"Dating, sorta. It's not and official title, but it probably will be, soon. Well, I hope so." I murmur.

"Well, I'll be on my way. I'm the dorm room straight across if you need to talk." she replied, opening the door, walking out.

I closed the door, and sat down in front of it, crying.

'Why did I just admit so much to her? Why did I even let her in? I shouldn't of said anything. I literally got to the point, where I was about to break down, right in front of her. Now we're also gonna become rivals, because she knows Alex and I are gonna start dating. Ugh, I hate myself, I hate my life.'

an// wow okay

also i took a break f*ck me ya know. Here's chapter 10. 1110 word chapter, one of my longest so far. Awesome, wow.