young, scrappy and hungry | a hamilton story | √

Chapter 34

They went to the theatre for the second show. Carleigh watched Kasey extremely carefully to make sure that she was alright.

Kasey seemed subdued, but only to Carleigh. People who didn't know Kasey that well would not have been able to tell that something was wrong- but Carleigh guessed that most of the cast would notice.

The audience was still filing out of the theatre when Kasey and Carleigh got there. They ducked in the stage door before anyone could realize who they were. 

When they got inside, Lin was there talking to Leslie. He turned in surprise when he heard the stage door open. 

"Carleigh and Kasey, I didn't expect to see you two here," Lin said. "You don't need to perform tonight. Kasey, I heard about what happened."

"I don't want to sit at home and do nothing except cry. I'm so sick of crying," Kasey said sharply. 

Lin blinked but nodded. "And you're alright?" he asked Carleigh.

"I'm fine," Carleigh reassured him.

~~~~~

The show began sooner than Carleigh wanted it to. Not being by Kasey's side made her nervous, even though she knew that Kasey could take care of herself. 

It was nice to have the show to take Carleigh's mind off of the sadness. It was a lot to take in, even for someone who wasn't connected to Wendy and Paul whatsoever. She knew how much both of them had meant to Kasey. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Carleigh was watching Kasey. The whole show, really. Carleigh knew that there wasn't anyone who was looking out for Kasey now that her foster parents were dead, and she wanted to make sure that there was at least someone who cared. 

Intermission arrived. Carleigh was relieved. She could finally talk to Kasey.

"How the  show going?" she asked when they made it back to the dressing room. 

"I'm fine, Carleigh," Kasey said, not even looking in Carleigh's direction. "You don't have to worry about me."

"I always worry about you," Carleigh replied. She took a drink from her water bottle and then headed back up to the stage to get ready for the beginning of act two. 

Pippa was standing on stage right when Carleigh arrived. "I didn't think you would be here," Pippa said in surprise. "I thought you called out for both shows."

"Kasey insisted on coming back, and I came to make sure she doesn't run herself into the ground," Carleigh explained. "Or do something she'll regret."

"Is everything alright?" Pippa asked. 

"I don't know. With Kasey, it's hard to tell. I feel like she's getting annoyed by me, but I can't tell that, either," Carleigh admitted. "She's being weird, but it makes sense, at the same time..."

"I'm sure your concern means more to her than you think. A little love goes a long way," Pippa said gently. 

"I hope so."

"You have to know how much you mean to her. You two have one of the closest friendships I have ever seen, and she looks up to you. You should know that."

Carleigh smiled a little. "Thanks, Pippa."

"What happened?" Pippa asked. "If I may."

Carleigh took a deep breath. "The British Embassy called Kasey last night and told her that her foster parents died yesterday."

Pippa gasped. "That's horrible. Is she alright?"

"Kasey was devastated for most of the night, but now I think she's just denying that it ever happened at all. I'm worried. Denial is never the best way to go, and pretending it never happened is just going to make it worse when it finally hits her. And I don't want that," Carleigh continued.

"That's rough. You're being a great friend toward her, Carleigh," Pippa said. "I think there's nothing you can do except be there for her. That will mean a lot to her."

"The thing is, I think that I might not be the one she really needs right now."

~~~~~~

It felt as though something heavy were sitting on Kasey's heart. That's how she felt. Every time she saw something that reminded her of them, it made it worse. The memories they had together were tainted now because Kasey knew she wouldn't have any more with them. 

The only thing that comforted Kasey was seeing Carleigh onstage and backstage. Her friend had an overwhelming calming presence that made Kasey feel safe. There was still one person, at least, that loved her. 

Carleigh was the only person holding Kasey together. If Kasey had been alone, she didn't know how she would have coped. But having Carleigh there kept her sane. It was a little easier, a little less painful. Losing Wendy and Paul didn't sting as much as losing her parents and her brother had. Maybe it was because she was used to grieving, or maybe it was because, this time, she wasn't alone. 

After the show was over, Kasey waited for Carleigh to finish returning her mic.

"How are you doing?" Carleigh asked, hugging Kasey. 

"I'm okay," Kasey said, trying not to think about Wendy or Paul. "I don't really want to stage door right now."

"That's okay. We'll wait for them to leave," Carleigh reassured her. 

They waited for about an hour for the fans to leave the stage door, and then they stepped outside into the brisk, cold December air. Carleigh's hair blew all over the place and she quickly put it into a ponytail. 

They walked as swiftly as possible back to their loft. Kasey waited while Carleigh unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"I'm going to go to bed," Kasey said. 

"Alright," Carleigh said. "If you need anything, just come get me."

"Stop worrying about me," Kasey said, not unkindly. "I'll be fine."

"Kasey, I love you so, so much. Don't ever forget that, okay?" Carleigh said before Kasey disappeared behind her bedroom door.

Kasey froze. "I love you too, Carleigh. Thank you."