Separated: 5SOS BSM

78. You Die (his POV) - Ashton

"Hi-i," she stood up and opened her arms.

I didn't hesitate to walk into them. No matter how tall, how muscular, nor how broad my frame became, I always felt safe and comfortable in my mothers arms. This time though, I could feel her struggling.

Her normally calm and gentle touch was full of tremors, and her breathing was erratic, her heartbeat not soothing but fast and powerful. She was clearly strung out. Likely hadn't slept since she found out.

"Hi Mum," I notched my chin over her shoulder, bending over more than I'd've liked.

From that position however I got a clear view of Y/N. She looked pretty much the same from how I saw her in the window. If only more real. I was closer and it made it harder to picture her as asleep when I truly saw how she was living. Through tubes and bags of things. Not her own free will. There was certainly nothing peaceful about her existence.

When Mum pulled back, I let go as well and watched as she carefully wiped away a few tears and sighed.

"How is she?" I asked, walking over to Y/N's side so that I could grab her hand. It was cold and limp. If I hadn't thought better I would've thought she was dead.

"Not good," our Mum choked out, before collapsing back into her chair and putting a hand over her mouth.

My breath hitched in my throat and I felt my heart skip a beat. She looked like someone who lost their hope. She looked resigned to the idea that she'd have to bury one of her babies.

"W-what?" I still don't know where I found the courage to even ask, knowing that the answer would only upset me more.

"She's brain dead. They announced it this morning," Mum wiped her eyes again, leaning forward a little so that she could fix a few stray hairs on her daughters head.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Could people recover from that?

"What does that mean?" I took a step closer, kneeling down in front of my mother, looking up at her. I had to be the strong one. The one who could understand and carry the burden. Some things were too much even for Mum. She had been through a lot. I could do it now.

I braced myself as she opened her mouth, "her brain isn't working, it can't be fixed. Even with all this," she gestured to the room. The machines, the tubes that ran into Y/N, "she won't make it more than a week. They said that we had today and tomorrow to say our goodbyes."

I wasn't expecting that. I had however decided to be the strong one. So even though I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't pretend that I wasn't heartbroken or that I didn't want Y/N back, I could help my mother. I know that that's what Y/N would've wanted.

So I wrapped my arms around her, and held her tight as she cried into my shoulder. Already, we began to mourn the loss of one of our own.

...

"It's your turn Ashton," Lauren sniffled a little and wiped her eyes off when she exited her sister's room.

I frowned and opened up my arms. She quickly walked into them. I engulfed her in a warm hug, embracing my healthy sister and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Did you get to say your goodbyes?" I murmured, rubbing up and down her back while she nuzzled her face into my chest.

"Yes," she took in a breath, "it was so hard Ashton. I don't want her to go."

I peeled Lauren off of me and squatted down so I was closer to her height.

"I don't either," I tucked some of her hair back behind her ear, "but at least we get to say goodbye."

Lauren swallowed thickly and nodded. Y/N's life support was going to be turned off in exactly three hours, and eleven minutes, so we were all saying our goodbyes.

"I'm going to go see Mum," she pulled back from me, "you go."

I watched as she drifted down the long hallway, heading toward the waiting area where Mum was.

I then turned by attention to Y/N, walking into her room, and then taking the seat next to her bed. I ignored the chill in her fingers as I took her hand in my own.

"I don't know how to say goodbye," I had been thinking about what I was going to tell her for a while. This was it. "So I just thought that instead I'd say a see you later." I took in a deep breath, "Y/N, I'm going to miss you a lot. You're my little sister and it hurts so much that I couldn't stop this and save you from this fate. I love you. I love the sound of your laughs when I used to tickle you into washing the dishes for me. I love the sassy look on your face when one of the boys would say something you didn't like. I love how smart and kind and patient you are. I love how you put others before yourself and always tried to be kind to everyone," I paused, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "I know that I'm not going to get to experience that for a while," I choked, and then took a deep breath. I was almost done. "But, until then, I love you, and I can't wait to see you later."

...

Four hours later we all stood in Y/N's room. Not a dry eye in sight. Holding hands we watched as the machines keeping her alive were turned off until only her vitals remained.

The rhythm of her heart turned into a flat tone.

She was gone.

Thanks for reading, commenting and voting!

I ALMOST CRIED WHILE WRITING THAT OMG

(I'm going to write a happy ending to go along with this but not at midnight when I have to get up early tomorrow)