Lucille (The Walking Dead)

Anne

    "Remember me, Judith?" I whispered to her and she smiled at me. Negan let out a small chuckle and smiled at him.

"Carl how about you run down and get us a couple of spots on the porch." He nodded Carl away. Carl looked at Judith and me and I gave him a reassuring smile that it would be fine to leave her with us. Carl didn't say anything but walked out of the room leaving us alone in silence. Judith reached her hands out to me and was trying to get me to hold her. Negan didn't fight her as she slid into my arms. I bounced her around the room as she giggled. I didn't realize how much I truly missed her till now with her in my arms. I started to dance around almost forgetting Negan watching at the doorway as I twirled and dipped her around the room. I caught a quick glance at Negan leaning against the wall smiling while watching us. I adjusted Judith on my him and started to tickle her. Her shrieking laughter filled the room and I heard Negan laugh at her laugh. I sighed and held her close to me. "You're pretty good with kids." I heard Negan say. I opened my eyes and looked back at him.

"One of the girls I would teach, my neighbor, she was only eight years old so I just got used to children," I said looking down at Judith's face, she continued to smile and started to play with my hair swirling her hands in it.

"Do you know what happened it her?" I felt a sadness come over me. Thinking about her brought back so many memories. He stared at me intently waiting for an answer.

"Her name was Anne. She and her parents were with me at the start of it all. While trying to get food her parents were attacked by Walkers. I kind of adopted her while we went around group to group." I looked down at Judith and sighed and tried to push back the tears. "One night we were with a relatively new group filled with questionable people. Anne, well, she was always wanting to help so she went to help get dinner ready with some of the others while I stood at watch." I tried to choke back the tears as the horrible feeling that I always carried with me became stronger. "Wh-when I went to go find her she was-" My voice cracked and I wiped a tear away from my face as the scène played in my head like I was reliving it. "she was being touched by a guy in the group behind the trees out of sight of the others." I heard Negan sigh and I cleared my throat and just looked at Judith in my arms, safe and sound. "When I confronted the bastard he said he was cleaning her up with a rag he had." I paused and looked at Negan who was watching me with a stern look. "I cut his throat that night, he was the first person I ever killed." I paused looking down at the floor remember his blood pouring from his opened neck as he struggled to breathe. "We got out of there but she wasn't the same after that. She ended up getting bit by a walker about a month later. I had to kill her before she turned. It was a week before her ninth birthday. She was so excited for it." I stood with Judith's warmth keeping me in the moment. Negan didn't say anything as he continued to look at me. I looked up into his eyes and I knew that he felt bad for me. He didn't need to say anything about it, I was done with the topic of Anne. We stood in silence for a while with Judith's small noises breaking the silence.

"I actually always wanted to have a kid." I turned to him and he was smiling sadly. "We were planning on having one but, we found out that she couldn't have kids." He looked away for a second before looking back at me with the same sad smile. " I actually wanted a couple of boy's, start a whole family business, you know? Have one be a little player like his father and the other real smart and loyal like Lucille. I even had names picked out, Sam and Dean, good strong names." He let out a light laugh before continuing. "I used to imagine that if I had a kid that I would get my act together and be there for her. I guess it's for the best, who would want a kid in a world like this." I looked at Judith and pressed my forehead to hers.

"I wanted a kid myself but I always thought I had time, you know?" I just examined Judith as she continued to look at my dark hair folded in between her little fingers. "It always seemed that I had time. Time to get a good job, get married, have children. I thought if I just waited and worked toward it would come." I let out a little laugh and gave him a quick glance. "I was a fool. I wish there was stuff I did do. I hate that all those people who said that 'you only regret the things you never did' were right." I heard a shuffle on footsteps walking toward me and I felt Negan wrap his arm around me and saw his face lean in toward Judith's face. They stared at each other for a moment before Judith let go of my hair and started to feel the stubble on Negan's face. We both laughed as Judith rubbed her hands over his face.

"I know I really need to shave this shit, right kid?" He smiled and so did Judith.